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Norm Bour's avatar

In about 30 days I will celebrate my 72nd birthday. If I read your blog when I was ready to hit age 60 I might be a bit despondent right now, maybe seeking out a country where they have legal euthanasia. After all, we all WANT control of our lives, so why shouldn’t we be in control of our deaths?

As it is, I am glad to be celebrating #72, primarily because many of my friends I graduated with cannot do that. As a matter of fact, many friends who were much younger—as much as a decade younger—can’t blow out any more candles either. We’ve not been doing this nomad thing for a decade, but just seven years this past February. Some of the things you mention, ie, slowing down, looking for a “final spot,” and such, are conversations I’ve had with my lovely. Who is 18 months, to the day, older than me. We both live in gratitude for the health we DO have and count our good fortune regularly. 43 countries, all continents but one is nothing to sneeze at! But we talk about death, in real terms, occasionally. We carry no health insurance, take care of things as they come, and what we’ve spent is a fraction of what premiums would cost. Our Medicare is there, but a joke, and she has needed a paramedic ride twice, neither of which was fatal, though scary. On a chairlift in Romania we were up towards the top, and one of us said, “you know, if one of us had a heart attack here, we’d be screwed.” Paramedic and insurance be damned; when it’s you/ our/ my time, our ticker will run out.

Last week we had a very real reality check when my BP crashed after a lengthy hike the day before and several days of being dehydrated. I had no idea THEN what happened, but I do now, since we’ve both been digging in (thank you AI), and understand the critical significance of potassium, magnesium, and sodium in keeping our hydration in order. Especially where we are--in Vietnam. She came THIS close to calling for an ambulance, and she went to the Dark Side and thought: heart attack, TIA, or stroke, and “what if?”

What if, indeed.

Some coconut and orange juice, some rest, and later, electrolytes and magnesium got me back on my feet, but I’ve had just one gym workout since then, check my BP several times a day, do a feet elevation thing every afternoon, and even though I’ll not celebrate #72 after a two hour climb at the top of some God forsaken peak, I will celebrate with no fanfare, just a lot of thanks.

So, if you’re looking for a “death spot,” more power to you. We have ZERO plans/ intentions to return to the US, and I have no kids, no parents, and aside from some cousins, no one close to me blood wise. But we have each other. Which one of us “goes” first is in God’s hands, and hopefully the survivor will deal with it in a healthy way. I’m sure you count YOUR blessings that you have each other, as you should. Yes, we have and are slowed down, and plan to stay in Da Nang at least six months, and probably focus on SE Asia as being OUR final resting spot, though I do intend to go to Albania occasionally, since I did love it. Our quickie 2 weeks in Japan next week MAY be our last short time/ long distance jaunt, but we’ll play it by ear.

So any or all of you who may read this, just eat well, get rested, and enjoy each day. When the shit hits the fan, I know (for me) it’ll take me to a kind, gentle place, and the world will rock on without me.

Mike Cipolla's avatar

I am the same age as you, although I am turning 63 tomorrow. My mother was 63 when she died in 1987.

And although our day-to-day lives are quite different, Bill and I are not nomads, I share many of your same concerns.

We moved to Delaware a year ago knowing very few people. We have started to build a community of friends here but most of them are our age or older.

We do not have children, our families are either nonfunctional or spread all over the country. Were we to need an extended community for much of anything, we would be out of luck.

I honestly don’t know what the answer is. I share your concerns about the future of this country. We moved to Delaware precisely because it has been a reliably blue state for many decades and we figured that if rights were going to be eroded, it would take more time here.

I guess I don’t really have much to add that is of practical use but wanted to let you know that you are not alone in these calculations.

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