Council of Fools Declares April Fools' Day Officially Canceled
"We just don't find the world all that funny right now," says the Fool from King Lear.
In a shocking announcement from the legendary Land of Stupidia, the Council of Fools has declared that this year’s April Fools’ Day is officially canceled.
“We just don’t find the world all that funny right now,” declared the Fool from King Lear in a press conference late last night.
April Fools’ Day is an annual celebration of lighthearted hoaxes and silly pranks that typically takes place on April 1st.
But this year, the Council of Fools, the mythical body that oversees the event, has said it’s a no-go.
“Have you read a f*#king newspaper lately?” said Alfred E. Neuman, the famously stupid mascot from Mad Magazine. “My God, these days, I can barely get out of bed.”
“Seriously,” added Squidly Tentacles, the jester from SpongeBob Squarepants, in the press conference live-streamed directly from the Land of Stupidia. “The President of the United States is siding with dictators, trashing the economy, shredding the Constitution, and arguing that America should invade Canada and Greenland. This is all profoundly stupid, but also seriously unfunny.”
The exact location of the Land of Stupidia is unknown, although experts have long speculated that it’s located somewhere between Mount Olympus, the home of the legendary Greek gods, and Las Vegas, Nevada.
The Council of Fools met yesterday afternoon to decide the fate of this year’s April Fools Day. It was reportedly a short discussion, and there was no dissent.
“While we were meeting to decide whether to cancel April Fools’ Day, Elon Musk tweeted about what an incredible victim he is — how hard he has it, being White in 2025 and also the richest person in the world,” said Mathurine la Folle, the famous female jester from 17th century France. “Sometimes I can’t even.”
Reaction to this announcement by the Council of Fools’ was immediate and intense, with Fox News promptly declaring a “War on April Fool’s Day!”
Meanwhile, Vice President J.D. Vance tweeted a quick response:
“Oh, my God, this is exactly what we’re talking about!” said Bugs Bunny, a member of the Council of Fools, in response to the uproar over their announcement. “Maybe we need to retire April Fools’ Day for good.”
“The whole Goddamn point of the Fool is that he or she isn’t a fool at all,” added Puck from A Midsummer Night’s Dream, exasperated. “We’re the only character who sees things as they really are. The Fool is the only one willing to speak the truth! But when we have to spell it out like this — when people are too stupid to even know what is or isn’t stupid — well, maybe it’s time we fools all throw in the towel.”
A note from Brent and Michael: Obviously, this is our annual April Fools’ Day post. Yeah, it’s more dark than funny. The truth is, like the Council of Fools, we’re not feeling very light-hearted this year either.
See our previous April Fools’ Day articles…
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Brent Hartinger is a screenwriter and author. Check out my new newsletter about my books and movies at www.BrentHartinger.com.
Michael Jensen is a novelist and editor. For a newsletter with more of my photos, visit me at www.MichaelJensen.com.
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