We Have a New Corporate Sponsor!
Please welcome a new addition to our travels around the world.
Welcome to Brent and Michael Are Going Places with Purell™!
Yes, that’s right, our new corporate sponsor is Purell™, makers of the well-known hand sanitizer. And we’re so happy to have them with us on our journeys that we’ve even added them right to our name.
Because as travelers in the Covid era, we both know that nothing is more important than staying safe — from Covid and all germs, 99.99% of which can be killed simply by applying a generous amount of Purell™ to your hands and rubbing vigorously.
Some might think that taking on a corporate sponsor is a betrayal of our existing brand, which has previously emphasized a simpler, less consumeristic lifestyle and strong environmental stewardship.
But we both think that Purell™ — and its parent company Johnson & Johnson, makers of such fine products as Tylenol™, Neutrogena™, and Clean & Clear™ Face Wash — share our long-held, deep-seated progressive values.
It’s all right there in their motto: “Experience Well-being.” How is Purell™ not literally saying what we’ve been promoting all along?
Plus, we’re in the process of rebranding anyway, to put more of an emphasis on consumer products and luxury travel.
We’ll be frank with you. Sometimes it sucks having to live this simple, nomadic lifestyle. I know we talk like we love it, but the truth is, sometimes we want more space. And more things, you know? And a big, juicy steak, even if it does cause greenhouse gas emissions. Doesn’t a steak sound really good right now?
We think that many of our readers also share these important values. Plus, who doesn’t want a Clean & Clear™ face? And no headaches thanks to Tylenol™. Are you seriously telling us you like headaches?
In short, once our deal with Purell™ runs out, you can also look forward to future partnerships with other premium brands.
Next month we will be called Brent and Michael Are Going Places with Tom Ford™.
You’ve seen lots of pictures of us, so you obviously know that fashion is not a big priority of ours. In other words, having us dressed by Tom Ford seems like a win-win for everyone involved.
A month after that, we’ll be called Brent and Michael Are Going Places with Pixel Phones™.
Basically, this was the only way in hell Brent was letting Michael get the new Pixel 6 with Ultra-Wideband and Instant Image Extracting.
We considered an offer to become Brent and Michael Are Going Places with Trump Enterprises™, but we knew we had to draw a line somewhere. Our progressive values are still really important to us.
Then they offered us more money, so we said yes to that too.
In the meantime, we’ll continue to travel the world, bottles of Purell™ sanitizer firmly in hand — but staying in much nicer accommodations, natch. We can afford it now! And we’ll probably be leaning more toward luxury destinations like Monaco, Capri, and Mar-a-Lago, Florida, too.
Goodbye until our next hello!
Brent & Michael & Purell™
P.S. Hopefully, it goes without saying that today is April Fool’s Day, and none of this is real. 😃🤪😝🤫
This was brilliant! I too was confused until I read the comments and then remembered the date. Maybe Purell really is the unofficial corporate sponsor of travel during COVID-19...After all, as The Lonely Island says, "There's no such thing as too much Purell."
You got me! I kept thinking, What in hell happened to them? Good piece!