36 Comments
Aug 19, 2022·edited Aug 19, 2022Liked by Brent Hartinger

Thanks Brent! Loved every word. I’m officially “old” (at least in the eyes of my 7 year old grandson) and worked in the education sector for long enough that I still think it IS my job to educate folks (although my parents used to say “ignorance is bliss”, I just can’t get on board with that.)

Hint: I’ve taken to pulling the duvet out of its cover and stashing it in the closet so I can just sleep under a “sheet” in all these wonderful un-airconditioned European countries. Write on! Discussion is what keeps our minds young!

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Aug 28, 2022·edited Aug 28, 2022Liked by Brent Hartinger

I'm one of those people who says, "It's not my job to educate you." I guess it's a diplomatic (albeit ineffective, as you skillfully pointed out) way of saying, "You need an attitude adjustment; I don't have the patience to talk to you any more." It's maddening when people who have never been marginalized act as if they're well-informed about homophobia or racism or transphobia. My favorite thing (pardon my sarcasm) is when they give me advice on how the LGBT movement could improve. Anyway [end sarcasm here], thank you for making it easy for me and my generation to come out. ;)

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Aug 19, 2022Liked by Brent Hartinger

Team top sheet! And thank you for the thoughtful analysis of the generational divide as well.

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Aug 19, 2022Liked by Brent Hartinger

Fellows, We have enjoyed the top-sheet and the duvet at home the last 43 years. Great effort giving hundreds of speeches. You will never know how much good your efforts produced. Be happy in the knowledge that the audience always appreciates discussion. Stay safe traveling. Steve

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I don't use a top sheet, but I sleep with a partner who does! And we each have our own comforter in a big king bed, honestly it's a relationship saver.

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Excellent piece, as always.

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“...that hellmouth of cheap cynicism, social media.” 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I’m sure if you and I sat together over coffee, we’d find several things we disagree on; however, I am confident we would take the time to listen to each other. Listening is where we learn and grow. Social media is full of talking (ranting?), but is anyone actually listening?!

I’m sure you changed many lives through your talks. Don’t stop now--there are so many young people who need to hear your voice! (And oldish people, too. I am oldish.)

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Aug 20, 2022Liked by Brent Hartinger

I like having a sheet available for hot weather and I tend to sleep warm so for me it's more about comfort. However I thought you might find this video helpful as it really takes the hard work out of putting the cover on after washing! https://youtu.be/EFOhjljieqs

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Aug 19, 2022Liked by Brent Hartinger

I thought I'd just comment on the very important issue you raise today: that of bedding.

Born in the 1960sm I recall having sheets and blankets. It was the mid-to-late 70s when new fangled "continental quilts" invaded the UK. And I remember the grown-ups being baffled at the time with this top sheet question. Even so very few people continued to use a top sheet with a duvet - I think my grandparents may have continued with the top sheet now I'm thinking about it.

By the time I was 16 (age of consent) we now called them duvets. And the top sheet debate was over - abandoned by almost everyone (except my extremely old-fashion girlfriend of the time and my grandparents).

As for hygiene: it is more hygenic than using blankets that get washed annually.

The duvet cover IS the top sheet - it completely encases the duvet and we launder the duvet COVER as often as we would launder our sheets. I agree it's a faff.

Actually it is really easy to launder the duvet as well - depending on its filling. Having 3 kids has often given me reason to often put the actual duvets in the washing machine - single duvets fit easily and can be washed and dried within a few hours ready to put back on the bed that same night.

Summer nights or winter nights - you probably know we have different "weights" of duvet and will change to the appropriate light-weight 7 tog or 4 tog for summer. Then if it gets suddenly cold in the night you can always pull an extra blanket (or dressing gown) over the top of the duvet. Here in the UK we can get all types of climate in one day all year round.

Spring/autumn requires a 10 tog abut we might go for 13+ if it gets cold.

I always look forward to reading what you both have to say.

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Aug 19, 2022Liked by Brent Hartinger

As usual, you are reading my mind. First, where the heck is the top sheet? I'm not a germ nut but it seems really unhygienic. Seems to be missing all over Europe.

On the second part , I so enjoy finding a rational person now a days that I can have a conversation with over a matter where we have a difference of opinion. A rare find now a days. I am keeping the faith that the world will return to sanity some day. I appreciate your sentiments and excellent writing!

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Aug 19, 2022Liked by Brent Hartinger

Spot on.

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Also a pet peeve of ours that I have never seen written about before ;-). Those duvets are often too hot, but we need something to cover us. Yes, maybe generational ;-)

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Great post! Agree with so, so much here. Thanks for sharing these thoughts. Being officially “old” (67), younger family members are very quick to eye-roll me and “correct” me now. I’m sure I did the same at their age. lol, I even hear myself now saying (quietly, to myself) what my mother used to say “I am not a nincompoop!” :)

And I’m sure your approach to your talks did change minds! And those people changed other kinds. And so it goes on. Good work!

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Aug 19, 2022·edited Aug 19, 2022Liked by Brent Hartinger

This: "Weirdly, I don’t think I have. I want the world to change! That’s why I’ve become so frustrated with liberal purity tests, and circular firing squads, and simplistic answers to complicated questions.

It’s also why I so despise that hellmouth of cheap cynicism, social media."

My favorite podcasters, Pantsuit Politics, spend a lot of time talking about the importance of embracing nuance. It's something I continue to struggle with as a "Xennial" who is finding it harder and harder to relate to my teenage students and more frustrated that people just can't see that most things are far more complicated than they initially appear.

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Aug 19, 2022·edited Aug 19, 2022Liked by Brent Hartinger

Duvets were introduced to Britain in my youth, and I loved them, not least because I'm a bad bed-maker. Returning to sheets and blankets and "comforters" when I moved to the States was bad enough. But finding out that hotels seldom wash anything but the sheets? Or, worse, staying at a rental cottage where the blanket clearly had never been washed, ever? Urghhh... No. Duvets, all the way! I'm with the yoof! And top sheets move about anyway. 😂

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Aug 19, 2022Liked by Brent Hartinger

I'm appalled at seeing most beds in Europe now--just great, shapeless, ugly lumps. No duvet for me, thanks. If I use one, it goes into the closet once I make my bed.

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