59 Comments
User's avatar
Nancy Whiteman's avatar

Great post. I recall fondly the shopping mall in the Fusaku metro/rail station. The most beautiful food displayed and served by white gloved women. That is where i learned to put corn flakes in the bottom of the cone before the ice cream. It soaks up the liquid and stops the bottom of the cone from leaking.

Michael Jensen's avatar

Thanks! I'll have to remember that trick.

Claire Polders's avatar

May he shop in peace.

Michael Jensen's avatar

Ironically, he hated shopping!

Hannah's avatar

This was better than anything Andy Borowitz ever did. Bravo.

Jenn H's avatar

Hmm, has anyone questioned Il Divo?

Michael Jensen's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣 BRILLIANT!

Ruth Stroud's avatar

Such a fun satire of the challenges of the Osaka metro, Michael! It ought to be accompanied by a reworked version of the Kingston Trio's classic "MTA" song--written long before your time about the Boston MTA. ("Did he ever return. No he never returned, and his fate is still unlearned...") https://youtu.be/7Tc1GUXxr2o?si=JJgAbwgQWuESMuA9

Matt McMann's avatar

Brilliant! I don't care what Brent say, you're funny. But only because I don't have to live with you :)

Michael Jensen's avatar

Not yet you don’t! LOL LOL

Nanine Alexander's avatar

One of the funniest entries. Shop on!

Lisa McMann's avatar

We're all grieving extravagantly with you!

Michael Jensen's avatar

LYING LIARS AND THE LIES THEY TELL!!!

Lisa McMann's avatar

I mean like super-extravagantly! Really whooping it up in grief!

RESIST | FIGHT's avatar

Great article 😊

RESIST | FIGHT's avatar

Keep the connection with me and subscribe 🫂

Linda Jackson 🌏's avatar

A sad but fitting end to a ho hum wannabe writer. 🥱

Congratulations on your fresh start Brent.

Michael Jensen's avatar

🥰🥰🥰🤣🤣🤣

DR Darke's avatar

Geez, Michael! Stop fishing—you know we love to read your posts! 😂

Michael Jensen's avatar

BUT I NEED TO HEAR IT EVERY DAY!!!

Peter Kurtz's avatar

Frightening. George Carlin called America one giant shopping mall. Guess he never visited Japan.

But who's Anthony Bourdain? 😊

Michael Jensen's avatar

Mr. Carlin had NO idea! As for Anthony Bourdain, I'M THE ONE MAKING THE JOKES HERE!

Karen Cianciolo's avatar

Brilliant! So funny!

Carol Hubbard's avatar

Oh-h-h, that's terrible! (Also funny.) ;)

Alison J. Glapa's avatar

Made me LOL. Truly.

Michael Jensen's avatar

Yay! Happy to hear that...

Reda Rountree (she/her)'s avatar

Oh my gosh you guys!!! Let me just say, the best thing ever after taking a social media break over the holidays is to come back to both of you to catch up on your newsletter and then read this! 🤣🤣🤣 I am dying, especially with the photos and life insurance quotes! You guys are the best, seriously. You both make Substack a fun place to be.

Michael Jensen's avatar

Thank you, Reda! That is incredibly kind of you to say.