Amazing how something as small as a big toe can lead to important reflections on living and life, no?
My spouse has been on a ventilator for 22 days and is not likely to survive the week. Among the many reflections and feelings are regrets over the walks not taken and other experiences not shared.
I’m glad your toe isn’t hurting, but it’s not healed, so my advice is: get it fixed while you can and where it’s relatively affordable.
You can always get more money, but you’ll never get those hours or days back.
I’ll never forget this line from the obituary of one of our high school classmates who died two years ago: “live at once as if you have all the time in the world, and no time at all.”
I’m glad you are no longer in pain, and beyond that I understand and agree with your point about life being short. We are fellow nomads, after all, so we get that better tan some. But beyond THAT, I hope you have a plan for when/if you pain comes back. No more limping through your life, OK?
That is odd. Tom got an approval from IMG, but the surgeon wanted prepayment. No way. But then we got a repayment of the full bill within 20 days. The letter from the Dr may have helped but it was a tense 20 days.
Oooof. I'm so sorry to hear about your toe! Pain that comes and goes is so frustrating. At least be consistent!
And yeah....SafetyWing. They only reimbursed me for a claim after I badgered them for weeks after the high end of their window. They count on people to just give up.
Hey Brent, my wife had big toe pain so bad she could barely walk around the block. Hallux was on the table (though not as progressed as yours) and one doc recommended surgery.
INSTEAD, we found a Portland foot doc who specializes in zero-drop shoes. Shifting to Altras completely fixed the solution and has worked for two other friends of ours as well.
I know this doesn't solve the hot, sweaty feet in Asia problem (I wore flips every day there!), but FWIW, most flipflops position your toe in a way that is terrible for natural position. Try to find the flattest flips you can if you're going to wear them vs. sayyy Chacos.
Disclaimer: I don't know jack and this is all anecdotal and I only play a doctor online. :)
Sorry to hear your dad is reaching the end of his life, but it sounds like he's had a full ride. Here's to you and Michael continuing to live it up with your remaining days!
Quite the story. . . You gained an insight into yourself and, sorry to say, a common, if rare insight into why medical insurance is a profitable business. One can only imagine the damage done by their damage control. Oddly enough, I have a toe issue as well--walking down stairs and hills exacerbates it. After months of trying to see a specialist at Kaiser during our brief time in Washington, it got diagnosed as a curved nail due to foot fungus. With only 2 days until we were to set off, no time to do anything about it. So, I’m in denial mood and living my life! Get behind me, satanic toe pain. Hope yours continues to ghost you.
I recently had gout for a short period that then just went away again. I am told it can get so painful that people cannot walk. Started in just my right big toe. Sounds like your problem
Gout is awful. I was on a blood pressure medicine that seemed to exacerbate the issue. My right big toe joint was swollen red and purple all the way up into the top of my foot. I was hobbling around to keep any weight off the toe. The weight of even a cotton sheet on it was too much to bear. I ended up being prescribed colchicine in a 3 pill regimen to treat it. I keep three pills in the house at all times in case it comes back. My heart goes out to anyone suffering with joint pain of any kind, especially anything that limits mobility or everyday functioning.
this is a very timely article for me. I am reading this on May 23 and on May 25. I am having surgery on my right big toe. I actually had bunion surgery in 2018 and the surgeon did a terrible job. I have lived with my big toe pointing far left and not being able to wear decent shoes. My surgery will fix my toe.
You're probably getting all kinds of medical advice now, and I hope you don't mind me sharing mine as well. Dealt with chronic pain recently and discovered the concept of neuroplastic pain. Yours sound a lot like what I went through, for one, the pain disappears without an explanation. What caught me is that you got better after the doctor's appointment and that your pain happened during a time of stress in your life. (I'm really sorry about your dad. There are no words for that.)
Anyway, during the course of my research I discovered a surprising thing. Not all people with missing cartiliage, arthritis or lumbar deformities suffer from pain. And that it is the brain that gives out the signals for pain. So I urge you to to explore the concept - I recently wrote about it and you can find the resources here https://firediarist.wordpress.com/2023/05/14/my-adventures-in-healing-neuroplastic-pain/
Oh! This is very interesting. I definitely thing it's related to my ability to "tune out" pain, which is of course all about the brain. Will investigate further! Thanks!
Yeah that was another clue that pointed to neuroplastic pain. The pain *is real*, it's just that your brain is overreacting and you need to calm it down. The fact that you can already "tune it out" is a good sign. It's almost like the technique called "somatic tracking".
I'm also good at tuning it out, which i think explains why my brain upped the ante with the pain, I think. "Oh, she doesn't want to listen? How about THIS?"
What amazed me are the scads of testimonials you can find online about this. I didn't believe it until it happened to me. I actually managed to turn off my pain by listening to the podcast at one point. The brain is so crazy sometimes
I'm not reflexively anti-Western-medicine, because, let's face, it's had a LOT of successes. But it does extremely poorly with the connection between the mind and body -- in fact, I'd argue it pretty much ignores that entirely. Which is ridiculous because it so very very obviously a huge part of the human experience. Right now, Westerners are "on our own," figuring this out ad hoc. But the human body is not a car or a computer -- it's just very much not.
That's funny: "Oh, she doesn't want to listen? How about THIS?"
Years ago, I was doing 250+ speaking gigs a year, and I am SO not a natural extrovert. And I refused to listen to the little voice in my head that said slow down. So I started having panic attacks. Fun! But it was CLEARLY by brain saying, "Ohhh, you're ignoring me, are you? YOU CAN'T IGNORE THIS!"
Sometimes our brains are like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. "Dan, I'm not going to be IGNORED!"
Haha let's see how it goes. And honestly, you and so many writers on Substack are just giving me such inspiration and courage. I'm just hoping to stay consistent this year :P
I'm still sitting on transferring my domain name over, however. Urgh. I hate tech stuff sometimes
Amazing how something as small as a big toe can lead to important reflections on living and life, no?
My spouse has been on a ventilator for 22 days and is not likely to survive the week. Among the many reflections and feelings are regrets over the walks not taken and other experiences not shared.
I’m glad your toe isn’t hurting, but it’s not healed, so my advice is: get it fixed while you can and where it’s relatively affordable.
You can always get more money, but you’ll never get those hours or days back.
I’ll never forget this line from the obituary of one of our high school classmates who died two years ago: “live at once as if you have all the time in the world, and no time at all.”
So very very sorry, Paul. Thanks for the reminder of walks not taken. Thoughts with you these days.
I'm so very sorry, Paul. Words fail at a time like this.
I’m glad you are no longer in pain, and beyond that I understand and agree with your point about life being short. We are fellow nomads, after all, so we get that better tan some. But beyond THAT, I hope you have a plan for when/if you pain comes back. No more limping through your life, OK?
Thank you, Georganna. The situation is being closely monitored! :-)
(Weirdly, it would be cheaper to deal with this in the US, where I have a clear deductible.)
That is odd. Tom got an approval from IMG, but the surgeon wanted prepayment. No way. But then we got a repayment of the full bill within 20 days. The letter from the Dr may have helped but it was a tense 20 days.
Yikes!
Oooof. I'm so sorry to hear about your toe! Pain that comes and goes is so frustrating. At least be consistent!
And yeah....SafetyWing. They only reimbursed me for a claim after I badgered them for weeks after the high end of their window. They count on people to just give up.
Yup yup yup. Lately, I'm big on Genki, which is a big more expensive. Then again, this is "travel" insurance, so I guess they're going to be stingy...
Still seems like a simple answer to simple question, though. IS THIS COVERED?
Hey Brent, my wife had big toe pain so bad she could barely walk around the block. Hallux was on the table (though not as progressed as yours) and one doc recommended surgery.
INSTEAD, we found a Portland foot doc who specializes in zero-drop shoes. Shifting to Altras completely fixed the solution and has worked for two other friends of ours as well.
I know this doesn't solve the hot, sweaty feet in Asia problem (I wore flips every day there!), but FWIW, most flipflops position your toe in a way that is terrible for natural position. Try to find the flattest flips you can if you're going to wear them vs. sayyy Chacos.
Disclaimer: I don't know jack and this is all anecdotal and I only play a doctor online. :)
Sorry to hear your dad is reaching the end of his life, but it sounds like he's had a full ride. Here's to you and Michael continuing to live it up with your remaining days!
Funny! The doctor said this, and Michael and I discounted it. But honestly, I think I subconsciously did a version of this, just keeping my toe stiff.
Love to know there are other options than surgery though!
I think flip-flops are out forever, but the perfect sandal...maybe. Chacos sound good!
I appreciate the advice, anecdotal or not.
Just to clarify, Chacos are NOT good for toes because their footbed is shaped such that the toe gets in a weird position.
Ahhh damn! I read too quickly, went to their webside, and thought, "Ohhhh, those are cute." hehehe.
Sandals may be out in the foreseeable future too. It won't kill me, I guess.
This was a profoundly good read. Thanks, Brent!
Why thank you!
Quite the story. . . You gained an insight into yourself and, sorry to say, a common, if rare insight into why medical insurance is a profitable business. One can only imagine the damage done by their damage control. Oddly enough, I have a toe issue as well--walking down stairs and hills exacerbates it. After months of trying to see a specialist at Kaiser during our brief time in Washington, it got diagnosed as a curved nail due to foot fungus. With only 2 days until we were to set off, no time to do anything about it. So, I’m in denial mood and living my life! Get behind me, satanic toe pain. Hope yours continues to ghost you.
oh I'm sorry. I hope you are able to cope. (I have foot fungus too, something far beyond creams' ability to cure. Yikes! Feet are complicated.)
You might find these interesting. Cameron is an accomplished hiker and TV presenter in Scotland. He had a similar toe issue.
https://youtu.be/cuG8R5cAtRM
https://youtu.be/_3EaiNmo2zU
https://youtu.be/rje1mrQ8AXc
interesting... have to check this out.
I recently had gout for a short period that then just went away again. I am told it can get so painful that people cannot walk. Started in just my right big toe. Sounds like your problem
Gout is awful. I was on a blood pressure medicine that seemed to exacerbate the issue. My right big toe joint was swollen red and purple all the way up into the top of my foot. I was hobbling around to keep any weight off the toe. The weight of even a cotton sheet on it was too much to bear. I ended up being prescribed colchicine in a 3 pill regimen to treat it. I keep three pills in the house at all times in case it comes back. My heart goes out to anyone suffering with joint pain of any kind, especially anything that limits mobility or everyday functioning.
Isn't it funny how simply HAVING a medication can make such a big difference, mentally? But of course! It gives us options and CONTROL.
oh! Glad it went away. I confess, it is BIZARRE that after a year, it's just...gone.
Bodies! They really are so strange. And always keeping us on our toes (no pun intended...lol)
Hehehe. But yeah, soooo strange!
Well written. Love the way you tied it all in.
Thank you 😍
Excellent piece! Lots to think about here.
Thank you! 🙂🙂🙂
this is a very timely article for me. I am reading this on May 23 and on May 25. I am having surgery on my right big toe. I actually had bunion surgery in 2018 and the surgeon did a terrible job. I have lived with my big toe pointing far left and not being able to wear decent shoes. My surgery will fix my toe.
Oh! My best thoughts to you. The feet are soooo important (as you obviously know). 🙂🙂🙂🙂
You're probably getting all kinds of medical advice now, and I hope you don't mind me sharing mine as well. Dealt with chronic pain recently and discovered the concept of neuroplastic pain. Yours sound a lot like what I went through, for one, the pain disappears without an explanation. What caught me is that you got better after the doctor's appointment and that your pain happened during a time of stress in your life. (I'm really sorry about your dad. There are no words for that.)
Anyway, during the course of my research I discovered a surprising thing. Not all people with missing cartiliage, arthritis or lumbar deformities suffer from pain. And that it is the brain that gives out the signals for pain. So I urge you to to explore the concept - I recently wrote about it and you can find the resources here https://firediarist.wordpress.com/2023/05/14/my-adventures-in-healing-neuroplastic-pain/
Oh! This is very interesting. I definitely thing it's related to my ability to "tune out" pain, which is of course all about the brain. Will investigate further! Thanks!
Yeah that was another clue that pointed to neuroplastic pain. The pain *is real*, it's just that your brain is overreacting and you need to calm it down. The fact that you can already "tune it out" is a good sign. It's almost like the technique called "somatic tracking".
I'm also good at tuning it out, which i think explains why my brain upped the ante with the pain, I think. "Oh, she doesn't want to listen? How about THIS?"
What amazed me are the scads of testimonials you can find online about this. I didn't believe it until it happened to me. I actually managed to turn off my pain by listening to the podcast at one point. The brain is so crazy sometimes
I'm not reflexively anti-Western-medicine, because, let's face, it's had a LOT of successes. But it does extremely poorly with the connection between the mind and body -- in fact, I'd argue it pretty much ignores that entirely. Which is ridiculous because it so very very obviously a huge part of the human experience. Right now, Westerners are "on our own," figuring this out ad hoc. But the human body is not a car or a computer -- it's just very much not.
That's funny: "Oh, she doesn't want to listen? How about THIS?"
Years ago, I was doing 250+ speaking gigs a year, and I am SO not a natural extrovert. And I refused to listen to the little voice in my head that said slow down. So I started having panic attacks. Fun! But it was CLEARLY by brain saying, "Ohhh, you're ignoring me, are you? YOU CAN'T IGNORE THIS!"
Sometimes our brains are like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. "Dan, I'm not going to be IGNORED!"
LOL
They totally are, and they can be so gosh darn creative about it lol -_-
Your website is fantastic, btw. I love how all the pieces of your personal writing brand come together in one ecosystem.
Seriously, you really get being a writer in 2023. Kudos!
Haha let's see how it goes. And honestly, you and so many writers on Substack are just giving me such inspiration and courage. I'm just hoping to stay consistent this year :P
I'm still sitting on transferring my domain name over, however. Urgh. I hate tech stuff sometimes
Glad your toe is better. I wonder if heat plays a part (especially this last month we have had).
Thank you! Interesting theory, but I hope not. I want the heat to end, but the pain to not come back! LOL