61 Comments
Mar 20, 2023Liked by Brent Hartinger, Michael Jensen

I am a firm believer in “unlikely friendships.” Years ago I was working out with a personal trainer and griping to him about how expensive his sessions were. He said “well I used to train that guy over there and he knows all of the same workouts you do, so maybe you could train together?” I looked at the man he was pointing towards and replied “Sad guy?” My trainer looked confused and I explained that I had made up nicknames for most of the regulars at the gym. I had decided the handsome man who spent a lot of time on his phone between sets wasn’t very happy with his life, hence the moniker “sad guy.” But after meeting the man I realized he was actually warm, and smart and funny. The assumptions I made simply from his demeanor were not even remotely accurate. He reminds me of this all the time...as we’ve now been together and married for almost 15 years.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Brent Hartinger, Michael Jensen

One of the saddest things about right now in the States is the strange discouragement we get in the media from connecting to people.. The language of "randos", "people pleasers" and "needy". The avoidance of human contact that didn't start with COVID. Thanks for bucking the trend, Brent. It's needed.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Brent Hartinger, Michael Jensen

Just beautiful, Bent! You know, I was initially pumped to read your travel writing, but it's pieces like these that shine even brighter. I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that. Thanks for putting thoughts like this into the world!

For me, this makes me think of Ben, who I played Dig Dug with for a year in 2nd grade, but never learned anything about him and lost touch when he moved. Or Aaron, a big farm kid with a freight train fastball that I played baseball with up in N. Idaho. I suspect he and I might not agree on politics these days, but I'm sure he's the same incredibly nice guy at heart.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Brent Hartinger, Michael Jensen

Lovely piece, Brent. As an Army brat, it was required to make friends quickly. And many, from all 12 schools, are still friends today.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Brent Hartinger, Michael Jensen

What a beautiful, joyful, and poignant work, Brent. I’m glad to have known you, and somehow stayed connected for >40 years.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Brent Hartinger

What a wonderful piece! Thanks, Brent. I love your writing and your books. You've done your three unlikely friends proud.

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Lovely sentiment and piece, Brent. I hope someday we will be unlikely friends :-)

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Mar 21, 2023Liked by Brent Hartinger

This was a beautiful article! I was moved to tears in several places and it has prompted me to renew a friendship from long ago. Thanks!

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Brent Hartinger, Michael Jensen

This warmed my little heart.

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Dear Brent:

This was, by far, my favorite column by you. My Mother's best advice she ever gave me (and she gave me a lot, some solicited, and most non-solicited) was that, if you found one true friend in your life, you would be truly blessed. Today, I'm blessed twice over with 2 wonderful friends whom I have had friendships for years. One happens to be a former student of mine who went on to become a teacher just like me, and is now retired?! The other was a fellow colleague of mine when we both taught at the same high school. Sine then, she's made 4 professional changes and I've made 2, but we still get together and take up a table and a wait staffer's time for nearly 3 hours at our favorite restaurant when we get together. Recently, I've been thinking about all of the people I've considered to be friends in the past and who are no longer involved or part of my life and I'm not part of theirs. Until recently, I always thought my Mom's advice was pretty pessimistic for someone as friendly as me. Lately, however, her advice all those years ago has really been ringing true. Take care.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Brent Hartinger, Michael Jensen

Such a beautiful post, Brent - thank you. You've got me thinking about some special people. I find it hard to make connections, so the ones I have really matter.

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Mar 25, 2023Liked by Brent Hartinger, Michael Jensen

Thank you, Brent, for putting these lessons down on paper for us, for me. They’ve really given me to pause to think 🤍

Because I read your story this evening, I will be contacting an old friend tomorrow morning 😊

Thank you for your positive impact!

Sincerely, Jess

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Mar 22, 2023Liked by Brent Hartinger, Michael Jensen

This may be a bit tangential, or belong entirely to the great blog you recently did about the advances in tech. If it doesn't fit, just scroll on by.

I don't recall any particularly unlikely friendships, other than those made whilst in an interest group (like a quilt guild), but I have made some very unlikely reconnects with friends from my distant past via Facebook. I've always tended to leave friendships behind rather cavalierly-gone from every day life equals gone from my mind pretty much entirely. If I had to write a letter, or make a long distance phone call, it just wasn't going to happen. After I moved on from one job to the next, I just didn't make much effort to "stay in touch". And you wonder why I was never invited to high school reunions.......

Enter social media. I have reconnected with first one and then many former classmates, workmates, and from a genealogy site, a sister I'd never met. It's free and easy to chat briefly a few times a week and exchange small events in our lives-and it doesn't require a lot of time or emotional investment, but it's good to know they are "out there" ready to provide an encouragement or a laugh to one another. Actually, in once case we have helped each other (long distance) through health issues and now enjoy a possibly more substantial and enduring friendship than we had 50+ years ago. Superficial? Perhaps. A sad statement on the way the world is depending on social media? I don't think so. It may actually be an unlikely way to foster old friendships and turn them into something much more substantial.

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This is a beautiful piece. I've had some random friendships over the years that are so bizarre I'm often questioned from my core sphere, how in the world....?

Examples are a couple of male Las Vegas show dancers I met in a hot tub, a cocaine dealer over waiting for an oil change, a glamorous (once society) Indy housewife who is hiding in Alabama met sitting in an airport over a tube of mascara, an underground multi-million dollar bookmaker who works a blah 9-5 job as a cover, and a doctor who made house calls that I later found out was convicted of killing several people from performing botched surgeries and prescribing painkillers overdosing patients (the latter is no longer my friend). I had nothing in common with any of the above except sharing meals, gambling in a casino, neighbors, or chance meeting. Each one enriched my life with shared wisdom, a laugh, or experience never forgotten. Most are long gone now but the memories live on. At the end of the day the tapestry of people we share our lives with is so important in growing and understanding our own place in this world, it is a pity if we're closed off and not open to meeting and giving everyone (discretion is advised as I did learn in one or two times) a chance to share in our journey. Thank you for sharing your friends with us.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Brent Hartinger

Such a heart-warming read, and so true - thank you for the reminders 😊

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Apr 17, 2023Liked by Brent Hartinger

I'm so sorry for these losses. I often think about the lovely people I've struck up conversations with in public and always wish I had given them my contact info in case they want to stay in touch, too. But it seems rare that people trust that option nowadays.

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