Ah, this made me laugh long and hard. I also have a mix of opinions and agree with both of you to a certain extent. If I ask my main travel companion, my 11-year-old son, he would point to the Japanese cherry blossom incident. A few years ago in Kyoto, he had to place a ban on me taking any more cherry blossom pictures because it was really starting to interfere with his enjoyment of the day. Oops ...
My wife and I have a similar conflict. I tend toward Team Brent. Worrying about photos and framing and posing brings me out of the experience. I'll take a few photos, but I'm more likely to read the plaque and notice the statue without a camera than with.
My wife loves taking photos. I think the biggest contention for us is whether we should be in the photos or not. She loves posing for them and documenting her presence at a place. And she always wants me to, or at least asks me if I want to, pose in a photo. I don't feel the need to have photos of myself and feel that I'm less interesting than the thing I would capture in a photo.
The next biggest is how much time and attention should be spent on photography. I feel her photo urges favor preservation over presence.
We find a balance. I pose a bit. She often listens when I say it's too much.
Yeah, it's not an issue that ever truly goes away. Complicating the matter is that we're travel writers now, so we need pics. Sometimes Brent hates posing for the pics, then later asks me if we have pics from X and I want to scream. LOL!
My husband and I could've written this but slightly fuzzier lines of difference. I'm a photographer in my working life (babies not buildings) so although I love taking photos when we travel I try not to get too tripody/lensey/wanky about it because I don't want to feel like I'm working. Plus my husband is sooooo like Brent and just hates being in the photos. I find it frustrating because as I've always said, if you don't put someone you love in the photo you may as well have bought the postcard because someone has already taken a better photo of that "scenery/building/vista". I can often be found running along behind my husband with dslr in hand snapping and hoping I'm capturing something anything lol. I do now take a selfie stick (yes I said it, fight me) because I don't have very long arms and I like nice photos of us together in front of cool things we are seeing and unfortunately my husband doesn't have a an "eye" for anything except for picking the right woman. In my quest to keep it simple though I often come away disappointed with what I've captured. It's either not the right angle, not enough photos, not the right light, didn't bother to choose manual settings, etc etc etc and when I see other people's amazing photos eg. Michael's, I feel annoyed with myself for not taking that extra minute to capture something special. To be fair to my husband he is a fairly good sport. He knows not to touch his food before I've snapped a quick shot on my phone lest he lose a finger. Food is life in our world so I like to capture the food as a memory of amazing meals shared, not to share on the flappergram or the instaface, just for us. I've dragged that man to more Disney theme parks than he ever wanted to see, he follows along with my crazy travel schemes and rarely asks questions so I do try and limit how much time he has to spend in front of the camera. I do wish on occasion he would pay a little more attention when he is taking a photo of me though, it's a little disappointing when I craft an image that makes him look like a Greek God and meanwhile he captures a blurry shot of me with 3 chins, a nipple showing and muffin top for days. Well to be fair, he can't be expected to work miracles I guess.
Anyway, I think I'm team Michael for this debate but since I love old movies I'd like to give Brent a special mention for awesomeness.
I'll leave you with something that I believe to be 100% true.........Photos are our memories when our memories fade!!! Take the photo, then go back to being in the moment. That way you have both experiences xx
Hey Lisa, Thanks for the most thoughtful response we've ever received to a newsletter so far. And I ain't just saying that because you're Team Michael! LOL.
BTW I totally relate to this: I can often be found running along behind my husband.
HA! I've done this so many times. I figure people must think I'm crazy. It's even worse when were with someone because then I figure since Brent has someone to talk to I can spend time taking a few more photos. Of course, that just means I have to run faster and farther to catch up! LOL.
I hear you about feeling frustrated about the badly framed photos you sometimes get that way. I call it my "guerilla" photography and try to think of it as a style.
I'm lucky because since we also usually stay in places for longer than typical visitors, I can make note of places and things I want to photograph and then come back later. And since I'm only shooting with a Pixel 4a, I need a lot of time to get some decent shots.
Of course, the final take away is that we're both married to good guys!
Well you've made my day saying my response was thoughtful - I've never been accused of that lol. I'll have to keep raising the bar now when I respond to your posts. I can't believe you are taking those incredible photos on a phone. Wow!!! You are indeed blessed to have that extra time in a place to be able to indulge your love of photography. And yes, we snagged ourselves some good fellas!
I honestly think you should keep doing what you are doing. Your photos are already beautiful, your lovely husband is already not a fan of how much time the photos take up and to achieve true greatness with the camera you'll need to invest a ton into lenses. It's one of those things that you can drop alot of money on if the obsession takes hold haha. Happy to support the addiction if you go down that track but I say keep doing "you".
Thanks, Lisa! Very much appreciate. I do want to get a proper camera but I'll still want to keep it pretty simple. Or lifestyle simply doesn't allow for me to carry around a ton of camera gear. Maybe you might have a suggestion for which camera might be best?
And I will keep doing me. Thankfully, we have found a point of compromise. Between my being an early bird and often being out and about, and my choosing the occasional picture "day," I'm pretty sure divorce can be staved off! LOL.
Hilarious! Also a really interesting question. We traveled a lot when I was a kid and my father was always an avid photographer. Still is! So, many of my childhood memories are of hanging around next to some monument while waiting for my dad to take twenty-hundred pictures. Fast forward to my own travels and I often feel I don't take enough photos. I think it's a matter of having to exit a moment to capture a photograph that sums up my feelings about being there. (Does that make sense?) I've traveled with my camera (of course I have a beautiful camera; my dad updates it for me every few years) and with just my phone, and when I do have my camera I do come away with beautiful photos that are a result of me looking for things to remember. So, as Michael mentioned with the statue of the bather, I see things I might not have seen otherwise. But I also sometimes feel that I'm not experiencing a location as only myself when I'm focused on photographing it. There is obviously a balance and sometimes I achieve it. A perfect day out and gorgeous pictures by which to remember it.
Balance is a tricky thing and something I think we all have to work at every day in all sorts of ways. BTW, this comment "I think it's a matter of having to exit a moment to capture a photograph that sums up my feelings about being there" does make sense. Oh, and next time you see your dad, tell him you know this guy who really needs a new camera...LOL LOL
OMG! We go through the exact same questions. My husband hates….absolutely hates…when I stop to take photos. He is always turning around and looking for me, while I am crunched up in some graffiti blanketed alley recording memories with my iPhone. During the pandemic, BV (before vaccination), I took an online IPhone Photography class to become a better photographer. I have received many compliments for my photography and I, too, believe it makes me a more perceptive traveler. One way I have brought my husband into my photographing life, instead of taking less photos, is for him to be my scout. He has a good eye, so he wanders ahead and looks for different angles, light, and interesting subjects to photograph. It works great for us. I love your posts. As always, thank you for your humor and unique approach to nomadic living.
It's interesting that we're hearing from so many women photographers because I would've thought it was the husbands taking all of the pics. Bad sexist-thinking Michael! LOL.
Brent will do the scouting thing as well, and I love it when he does as that makes it feel like more of a couple thing.
Thanks for the kind words and for subscribing to the newsletter! We really appreciate it!
Hi Rose, As the one who takes all of the photos in our relationship, allow me to apologise for all of the obsessive husbands around the world! LOL. And your "Ugly Bette Davis tears" cracked me up! I think there's a hit song there!
Ah, this made me laugh long and hard. I also have a mix of opinions and agree with both of you to a certain extent. If I ask my main travel companion, my 11-year-old son, he would point to the Japanese cherry blossom incident. A few years ago in Kyoto, he had to place a ban on me taking any more cherry blossom pictures because it was really starting to interfere with his enjoyment of the day. Oops ...
BUT CHERRY BLOSSOMS!!!! Also, I shall assume you agree with me more than Brent. Because that is the only logical conclusion. :-)
My wife and I have a similar conflict. I tend toward Team Brent. Worrying about photos and framing and posing brings me out of the experience. I'll take a few photos, but I'm more likely to read the plaque and notice the statue without a camera than with.
My wife loves taking photos. I think the biggest contention for us is whether we should be in the photos or not. She loves posing for them and documenting her presence at a place. And she always wants me to, or at least asks me if I want to, pose in a photo. I don't feel the need to have photos of myself and feel that I'm less interesting than the thing I would capture in a photo.
The next biggest is how much time and attention should be spent on photography. I feel her photo urges favor preservation over presence.
We find a balance. I pose a bit. She often listens when I say it's too much.
But the tug of war persists.
Yeah, it's not an issue that ever truly goes away. Complicating the matter is that we're travel writers now, so we need pics. Sometimes Brent hates posing for the pics, then later asks me if we have pics from X and I want to scream. LOL!
>ahem< It's a healthy tension! P.S. You ain't the only one who sometimes wants to scream. :-)
I know!
My husband and I could've written this but slightly fuzzier lines of difference. I'm a photographer in my working life (babies not buildings) so although I love taking photos when we travel I try not to get too tripody/lensey/wanky about it because I don't want to feel like I'm working. Plus my husband is sooooo like Brent and just hates being in the photos. I find it frustrating because as I've always said, if you don't put someone you love in the photo you may as well have bought the postcard because someone has already taken a better photo of that "scenery/building/vista". I can often be found running along behind my husband with dslr in hand snapping and hoping I'm capturing something anything lol. I do now take a selfie stick (yes I said it, fight me) because I don't have very long arms and I like nice photos of us together in front of cool things we are seeing and unfortunately my husband doesn't have a an "eye" for anything except for picking the right woman. In my quest to keep it simple though I often come away disappointed with what I've captured. It's either not the right angle, not enough photos, not the right light, didn't bother to choose manual settings, etc etc etc and when I see other people's amazing photos eg. Michael's, I feel annoyed with myself for not taking that extra minute to capture something special. To be fair to my husband he is a fairly good sport. He knows not to touch his food before I've snapped a quick shot on my phone lest he lose a finger. Food is life in our world so I like to capture the food as a memory of amazing meals shared, not to share on the flappergram or the instaface, just for us. I've dragged that man to more Disney theme parks than he ever wanted to see, he follows along with my crazy travel schemes and rarely asks questions so I do try and limit how much time he has to spend in front of the camera. I do wish on occasion he would pay a little more attention when he is taking a photo of me though, it's a little disappointing when I craft an image that makes him look like a Greek God and meanwhile he captures a blurry shot of me with 3 chins, a nipple showing and muffin top for days. Well to be fair, he can't be expected to work miracles I guess.
Anyway, I think I'm team Michael for this debate but since I love old movies I'd like to give Brent a special mention for awesomeness.
I'll leave you with something that I believe to be 100% true.........Photos are our memories when our memories fade!!! Take the photo, then go back to being in the moment. That way you have both experiences xx
Haha. Thanks! This made me LOL: unfortunately my husband doesn't have a an "eye" for anything except for picking the right woman.
Well, he definitely won the lottery picking such a delight for a wife!!!
Hey Lisa, Thanks for the most thoughtful response we've ever received to a newsletter so far. And I ain't just saying that because you're Team Michael! LOL.
BTW I totally relate to this: I can often be found running along behind my husband.
HA! I've done this so many times. I figure people must think I'm crazy. It's even worse when were with someone because then I figure since Brent has someone to talk to I can spend time taking a few more photos. Of course, that just means I have to run faster and farther to catch up! LOL.
I hear you about feeling frustrated about the badly framed photos you sometimes get that way. I call it my "guerilla" photography and try to think of it as a style.
I'm lucky because since we also usually stay in places for longer than typical visitors, I can make note of places and things I want to photograph and then come back later. And since I'm only shooting with a Pixel 4a, I need a lot of time to get some decent shots.
Of course, the final take away is that we're both married to good guys!
Well you've made my day saying my response was thoughtful - I've never been accused of that lol. I'll have to keep raising the bar now when I respond to your posts. I can't believe you are taking those incredible photos on a phone. Wow!!! You are indeed blessed to have that extra time in a place to be able to indulge your love of photography. And yes, we snagged ourselves some good fellas!
I still want to get an actual camera. When I do I can ask you for advice!
I honestly think you should keep doing what you are doing. Your photos are already beautiful, your lovely husband is already not a fan of how much time the photos take up and to achieve true greatness with the camera you'll need to invest a ton into lenses. It's one of those things that you can drop alot of money on if the obsession takes hold haha. Happy to support the addiction if you go down that track but I say keep doing "you".
Thanks, Lisa! Very much appreciate. I do want to get a proper camera but I'll still want to keep it pretty simple. Or lifestyle simply doesn't allow for me to carry around a ton of camera gear. Maybe you might have a suggestion for which camera might be best?
And I will keep doing me. Thankfully, we have found a point of compromise. Between my being an early bird and often being out and about, and my choosing the occasional picture "day," I'm pretty sure divorce can be staved off! LOL.
Hilarious! Also a really interesting question. We traveled a lot when I was a kid and my father was always an avid photographer. Still is! So, many of my childhood memories are of hanging around next to some monument while waiting for my dad to take twenty-hundred pictures. Fast forward to my own travels and I often feel I don't take enough photos. I think it's a matter of having to exit a moment to capture a photograph that sums up my feelings about being there. (Does that make sense?) I've traveled with my camera (of course I have a beautiful camera; my dad updates it for me every few years) and with just my phone, and when I do have my camera I do come away with beautiful photos that are a result of me looking for things to remember. So, as Michael mentioned with the statue of the bather, I see things I might not have seen otherwise. But I also sometimes feel that I'm not experiencing a location as only myself when I'm focused on photographing it. There is obviously a balance and sometimes I achieve it. A perfect day out and gorgeous pictures by which to remember it.
Balance is a tricky thing and something I think we all have to work at every day in all sorts of ways. BTW, this comment "I think it's a matter of having to exit a moment to capture a photograph that sums up my feelings about being there" does make sense. Oh, and next time you see your dad, tell him you know this guy who really needs a new camera...LOL LOL
OMG! We go through the exact same questions. My husband hates….absolutely hates…when I stop to take photos. He is always turning around and looking for me, while I am crunched up in some graffiti blanketed alley recording memories with my iPhone. During the pandemic, BV (before vaccination), I took an online IPhone Photography class to become a better photographer. I have received many compliments for my photography and I, too, believe it makes me a more perceptive traveler. One way I have brought my husband into my photographing life, instead of taking less photos, is for him to be my scout. He has a good eye, so he wanders ahead and looks for different angles, light, and interesting subjects to photograph. It works great for us. I love your posts. As always, thank you for your humor and unique approach to nomadic living.
It's interesting that we're hearing from so many women photographers because I would've thought it was the husbands taking all of the pics. Bad sexist-thinking Michael! LOL.
Brent will do the scouting thing as well, and I love it when he does as that makes it feel like more of a couple thing.
Thanks for the kind words and for subscribing to the newsletter! We really appreciate it!
Man, do I feel your pain...
Hi Rose, As the one who takes all of the photos in our relationship, allow me to apologise for all of the obsessive husbands around the world! LOL. And your "Ugly Bette Davis tears" cracked me up! I think there's a hit song there!