One of the risks of having your own life and travels be the subject of your writing is that pressure you mentioned to be constantly upbeat and putting on one's best face. As one of your readers, I can say: honesty is just fine.
So glad you wrote this post, Michael - thank you so much for sharing it. A bad day is a bad day, never mind where in the world we find ourselves! I walk through a cloud sometimes - I call it my 'sighy fug' - and when I'm in it I try my best to remind myself that I'm only there in order to be able to appreciate the sunshine when it comes.
This is so beautifully expressed. That description of heaviness and weightlessness really resonates — it’s such a good way to put it. And “I *felt* alone” — I’ve got a kiddo struggling with a lot of depression right now, and that feeling of disconnection from other people, even close friends, is clearly such a part of it. And it’s HARD. I’m glad you feel better. Whether it’s depression or a passing black mood, it’s never easy to walk with.
This is beautifully written. I hard identify with the unnameable funk that just won’t lift. My black cloud moods are something to behold. As in this piece, I find some distance helps - and a boat ride on the Chao Praya couldn’t hurt either ❤️
May 29, 2023Liked by Brent Hartinger, Michael Jensen
I can totally relate. On my last (and probably last) big trip out of the country, my first view of Paris (in 2012, before Europe & the UK got so weird) left me completely flat. Like my mood, the weather was awful, and we discovered the Eifell Tower was closed for repairs - no going to the top.) I felt horrible and couldn’t have cared less. I know my friend wanted to slap me silly. But eventually I felt better, and we had fun. Thanks for sharing so much of your life and travels with us. It means a lot. Sending good thoughts and lots of love to you both!
Well, I can't pretend to know what caused your mood Michael, but I do know that I would have likely felt the same. For me it would have been a full sensory overload for such as introvert as I am. I feel for how horrible you felt and the fact that a person is on holiday at a place you so much looked forward to just makes it even worse. I hope that you went on with the rest your travels in happiness and joy. Thank you so much for sharing with us.
I get this way sometimes. And I remind myself that I’m living in the world through travel, not vacationing. Depression doesn’t always have a rhyme or reason, it just is and can hit at any time and in any place. Even the most beautiful.
Give yourself some grace, put on your comfy pj’s, eat some over cream or do whatever is a comfort for you.
I can see what you mean it is too much,overwhelming up close. But from far away beautiful. Some days are like that unexplainable darkness. Glad to hear that cloud lifted later in the day.
I very much appreciate your honesty about this. Bad days when you're on the road is something I've been thinking and writing about a lot lately. You're in a spectacular place, and your head is just not in it. You're depressed or mad or tired and want to lean into that. But then there's a little voice in the back of your head telling you to get over it - you're in Bangkok, visiting temples and need to appreciate this.
The narrative that's pushed largely by social media that vanlife or some version of it is all rainbows and cloudless vistas and five-star food from a roadside hole in the wall, is a false one. A life spent traveling is still life. You'll have good days and bad.
Thank you for this. For the transparency. And it would have been okay if your mood hadn't lifted, too! I've had a persistent weird heaviness here in Tunis, that I haven't felt for months--just a sense of "Wait, how am I still doing this? Why am I here?" But in my case, it feels important not to over-identify or over-investigate any one feeling, or hold it as definitive in some way. Just do the next thing. And usually the "weather" just changes.
One of the risks of having your own life and travels be the subject of your writing is that pressure you mentioned to be constantly upbeat and putting on one's best face. As one of your readers, I can say: honesty is just fine.
Wat Arun is much more beautiful from the water than up close.
So glad you wrote this post, Michael - thank you so much for sharing it. A bad day is a bad day, never mind where in the world we find ourselves! I walk through a cloud sometimes - I call it my 'sighy fug' - and when I'm in it I try my best to remind myself that I'm only there in order to be able to appreciate the sunshine when it comes.
This is so beautifully expressed. That description of heaviness and weightlessness really resonates — it’s such a good way to put it. And “I *felt* alone” — I’ve got a kiddo struggling with a lot of depression right now, and that feeling of disconnection from other people, even close friends, is clearly such a part of it. And it’s HARD. I’m glad you feel better. Whether it’s depression or a passing black mood, it’s never easy to walk with.
This is beautifully written. I hard identify with the unnameable funk that just won’t lift. My black cloud moods are something to behold. As in this piece, I find some distance helps - and a boat ride on the Chao Praya couldn’t hurt either ❤️
I can totally relate. On my last (and probably last) big trip out of the country, my first view of Paris (in 2012, before Europe & the UK got so weird) left me completely flat. Like my mood, the weather was awful, and we discovered the Eifell Tower was closed for repairs - no going to the top.) I felt horrible and couldn’t have cared less. I know my friend wanted to slap me silly. But eventually I felt better, and we had fun. Thanks for sharing so much of your life and travels with us. It means a lot. Sending good thoughts and lots of love to you both!
Very relatable and well-articulated post, and processing your feelings honestly is always a good thing.
Well, I can't pretend to know what caused your mood Michael, but I do know that I would have likely felt the same. For me it would have been a full sensory overload for such as introvert as I am. I feel for how horrible you felt and the fact that a person is on holiday at a place you so much looked forward to just makes it even worse. I hope that you went on with the rest your travels in happiness and joy. Thank you so much for sharing with us.
I get this way sometimes. And I remind myself that I’m living in the world through travel, not vacationing. Depression doesn’t always have a rhyme or reason, it just is and can hit at any time and in any place. Even the most beautiful.
Give yourself some grace, put on your comfy pj’s, eat some over cream or do whatever is a comfort for you.
This too shall pass. Sending love your way.
Beautiful and serene place to visit. Thanks for sharing
Wow! Looks like an awesome place!
I can see what you mean it is too much,overwhelming up close. But from far away beautiful. Some days are like that unexplainable darkness. Glad to hear that cloud lifted later in the day.
I very much appreciate your honesty about this. Bad days when you're on the road is something I've been thinking and writing about a lot lately. You're in a spectacular place, and your head is just not in it. You're depressed or mad or tired and want to lean into that. But then there's a little voice in the back of your head telling you to get over it - you're in Bangkok, visiting temples and need to appreciate this.
The narrative that's pushed largely by social media that vanlife or some version of it is all rainbows and cloudless vistas and five-star food from a roadside hole in the wall, is a false one. A life spent traveling is still life. You'll have good days and bad.
Thank you for this. For the transparency. And it would have been okay if your mood hadn't lifted, too! I've had a persistent weird heaviness here in Tunis, that I haven't felt for months--just a sense of "Wait, how am I still doing this? Why am I here?" But in my case, it feels important not to over-identify or over-investigate any one feeling, or hold it as definitive in some way. Just do the next thing. And usually the "weather" just changes.