We were expats with permanent retirement visas living in Nicaragua when Trump was elected. We were in New Zealand for a month the night he won. It was such a total shock and all the locals were as surprised, too. Unfortunately, we had to escape Nicaragua in 2018 because of a political rebellion…over 300 people were killed and many escaped to Costa Rica and the U.S. Our house is still on Ometepe Island. We turned it into a successful Airbnb for digital nomads, but we won’t return there if Trump would be elected. Nicaragua has a dictator, too, so we would be jumping from one fire into another.
Honestly, we are too old to jump into residency in another country again. We just because first time grandparents, so our best bet would be to sell our houses in Nicaragua and the states and move to Yosemite National Park with our son, daughter-in-law and new baby Theo. We can buy them a house and build a tiny home for us and continue to travel. Maybe CA would separate and become its own nation. Dreaming of course…I don’t expect much to change for us, but I fear for our children and grandchildren. I am hopeful that he won’t be elected. Cutting the cable and only reading independent journalists on Substack like Jay Kuo, Heather Cox Richardson, and Joyce Vance give me hope. We can do this!
I would like to make one little point about the Foreign Earned Income Exclusion. It only works on EARNED Income. If you are retired and have passive income from items like Rent and Pensions etc. you have to report that without the use of the exclusion. In almost all my foreign clients, the taxes they pay to their host country cancels out the taxes owed to the US (because you get a credit for paying taxes to the country where you are a resident). Lots of tax issues with leaving the US (oh, and yes you have to file a US tax return as long as you hold US passport/citizenship).
One other thing I understand from reading expat/immigrant pages and discussion forums is that maintaining U.S. investments from abroad can be difficult at best, or impossible. With the Know Your Customer requirements at U.S financial firms, maintaining a residential address in the States is not optional (and a mail-forwarding service is insufficient). Many get around this by using a trusted friend's/relative's address, but I can see the difficulties with this as I get older.
Like the trusted friends get sick & die. I find it difficult to find pre-need and “post need” guardians, health care surrogates, executors. I don’t have enough assets to pay institutional financial guardians and for literary and art executors. What are others doing both in the US and out of the country when adult kids can’t be chosen?
I think it's very important to have long conversations with trusted younger friends. We've done that, and done documentation too. Also helps to have a lawyer and financial advisor in the loop, which we've also done.
Hi there, an approach an older friend of mine used was to offer a younger friend a solid sum of money (something like $50-100k) to be their POA and executor. It was someone he met through a hobby and they became friends irrespective of the large age gap. My wife and I (kid-free) plan to do the same thing. Plus it's so satisfying mentoring/having younger friends!
Thanks for your suggestions. I like a part of your idea as I’ll address below, but for me not practical in this sense —the age difference is no obstacle in general:!a younger “helper” makes sense anyway for reasons below, but there are other issues related to age and not for me.
As to “age”: My relationships with my best friends going backward range between 27 and 46 years and all if my closest friends are 70-82 years old and some very sick or caregivers for spouses of the same ages.
(We all either went to law school together almost 50 years ago or else met through religious school for our kids when they were 4-8 years old and we all raised our kids together.)
So my biggest problem is that the only younger people I know are the children of my friends! And even though I trust them in general, they will be caring for their own parents.
And my own kids would be offended for me to have chosen their now “just acquaintances” even if they would not be caring for their own parents. (But my kids simply aren’t “right”
for the jobs by themselves for various reasons.)
So my dilemma is where do I find trained and trustworthy fiduciaries and caregivers of a younger age that are both affordable and trustworthy and emotionally right for such difficult jobs? I was a formal appointed caregiver /guardian for my Mom and informally for my husband and it is Hell and all consuming time-wise and frightfully expensive
And while it is very easy for me to make friends, making
friends and finding out whether they are “right” for
the jobs— caring physically, medically as a “Health care surrogate”, and administering and overseeing -and maybe even investing, powers of attorney, and taxes— financially for me and coordinating with literary and art executors and any business I might still have cannot be done fast enough: I need to “designate” NOW before I am incapacitated.
The other part of your comment I like is the idea of a lump sum payment but I’d modify it in this sense: I would not pay it all up front, certainly. Don’t know if I misunderstood your idea.
I’d also build in incentives for transparency, good results, law abiding, and require that he /she work with family to have them —family—be part of the processes but with the actual fiduciary making the final decisions. I’d also want them bonded and have errors and omissions insurance and a Confidentiality agreement, and to engage in “family mediation” to nip in the bud and resolve complaints & issues.
I am also wondering whether separate fiduciaries make sense: for the “person” and “financial /property” per some guardianship standards. I also wonder whether court appointment* is the only way permissible and whether recruiting from the law schools and medical and/or top nursing schools would work.* Very expensive and time-consuming.
The caregivers would also have to hire actual helpers & other workers /service providers, contract for services, potentially work with doctors and lawyers and CPA’s, administer a “living will”, potentially work with assisted living, Powers of Attorney, memory care homes, landlords & mortgage and insurance companies, realtors and estate people, clean out and sell a home,etc:
The overwhelming and sophisticated nature and volume of it all coupled with strange family dynamics and my 40 years’ younger” twin
”kids’” naiveté and our experiences with my mom that led to 8 years of truly expensive litigation between my sister (and her family) and my husband and I is why I am trying to plan ahead and in detail.
All of those complicated things would have to be out together well, so I could never consider moving to another country first even though I am eager to ASAP because of “King Trump”.
One would think that as a lawyer—in addition to a writer, photographer, artist/designer- I’d have it all under control but I don’t after being my mom’s care giver, Guardian, Personal Representative, running her commercial land investment business, raising twins, defending from a sibling’s 3 law suits, and then after 38 years together, being my husband’s caregiver for 4 years that I’d have all of my planning ready, but I don ‘t and “time’s’ a wasting “.
Finally: I have been working on a Substack newsletter addressing these kinds of issues among others. For me it’s all a real and expensive dilemma. I’d like to seek the advice of others, facilitate and/or moderate discussions, and gather / publish suggested solutions because I can’t imagine I am the only one with these kinds of issues.
MEH, do you have a website or another place where potential clients can connect with you? (if you’re taking on new clients, that is) I need to find a new accountant for us on the US side of things as it’s just become clear that ours does not have the needed experience with US citizens living and working abroad.
I'm sorry I'm retired, but finding someone with experience is pretty important. The IRS may be slow, but they are dogged in their attempts to collect what they think is theirs.
Honestly, I don’t understand the jump ship because of Trump hysteria, especially after living in southern Africa and FSU republics most of my life.
I lived for years under the leadership of Presidents for Life Dr Hastings Kumuzu Banda and Comrade Robert Mugabe (including the era when he had 20,000 people in Matabeleland murdered. I also lived under the retro 1950 era doctrinaire Stalinist dictators in the FSU ‘stans.
After the last three and a half years living in a similar disfunctional geriocracy, I thrived. I find if one minimizes one’s consumption of ugly partisan politics, actively lives in one’s community, looks for common ground instead of reasons to disagree on politics (or religion or how to raise children), then life anywhere can be good. One of my close friends and I are as far apart politically as possible, but we don’t concern ourselves with that. Lately we’ve come to agree that both sides are lying assholes. Also, we have far more interests in common. Dogs. Food. The weather.
None of us have all the correct answers, so why pretend our particular tribe does? The left-right political binary is death to civil society, so why keep it up?
Hmmm. I agree that life goes on (in a way that is somewhat disturbing, I've found, living in dictatorships). But we all must also live our consciences. And while I agree that no one has all the answers, I do think one "tribe" has currently crossed a very clear line. I think those who reject democracy and openly promote violence should themselves be rejected.
True about crossing lines and political violence. We certainly saw political violence after the George Floyd’s death. Cities burned. Federal buildings assaulted. People died.
But at times like those, cool headed, centrist people are more needed than ever.
I guess I see a massive difference here. One tribe condemns violence -- even if they often don't always denounce violence in their own ranks strongly enough for my liking. The other tribe has lined up behind a man who openly promotes and espouses violence -- mocking Nancy Pelosi's husband who was almost killed in a political attack, encouraging violence against reporters and political opponents, declaring the rioters on 1/6 are "hostages" and victims who should be pardoned, praising evil dictators who have killed tens of thousands and imprisoned journalists. I don't really see a "both sides" here, except that no human being is ever perfect. But to compare normal human failings and hypocrisies with what Trump openly strands for is, I think, wrong.
I appreciate that you have strong feelings about this and are entitled to them. My perspective is different and was formed in a crucible of mass murder, corruption, and dehumanization of the opposition during the course of my international career.
As far as violence by one side, I believe all the assassination attempts since 1865 have been against Republicans, except for JFK, who was killed by an a Communist wannabe. (His brother RFK was killed by a Palestinian who hated him for his support of Israel.) Mocking Nancy Pelosi’s husband is not the same as constant comparisons to Hitler, “we need to target Trump,” “Trump needs a bullet,” “Trump needs to be eliminated,” etc.
Seriously, what did Trump do during his first term to cause such eliminationist rhetoric? The economy was good, especially for minorities, the Abraham Accords were falling into place, NATO members were finally paying their fare share. The overall economy was good until Covid hit. I could go on, but as I said earlier, I’m not one to praise politicians. We hire them to do the people’s business, not engage in constant lawfare against someone they don’t like. And I don’t appreciate how the law is so unequally applied, depending on one’s political affiliation. For example, the whole classified document mess where one guy is raided by the FBI and the other guy is said to be too fragile and confused to be prosecuted.
I see actions and attitudes that were unthinkable when I was a kid now commonplace. Why is every Republican president or candidate “literally Hitler?” Demonize the opposition, dehumanize those with different political views (something I especially noticed during that divisive Leni Riefenstahl-like speech Biden gave early onattempt to kill the opposition. It all makes me feel as if I’m living back in Zimbabwe where for 37 years, a vicious little man murdered his opponents, whether an entire ethnic group or a political opponent or members of his opponent’s family. In fact, during my entire 25 year career, I never worked in a functioning democracy. The countries where I went to help clean up the messes were always destroyed by leftist ideologues. Where those ideologies were abandoned, countries would thrive, unless they were colonized by the Chinese who now have a greater presence in Africa than the European colonialists ever managed.
One thing I learned in life after working in Somalia, Sudan and South Sudan, Zimbabwe, the Balkans, the Caucuses region, and Rwanda is that when a political party starts dehumanizing people, take their threats seriously, because they really do want to destroy you.
You too are entitled to your opinions, but I don't agree with a single thing you've said. Biden and the Democrats mostly seem like normal politicians with normal flaws, and the party's crazy extremists are at the margins. Trump and the Republicans seems like what happens when the crazy extremists at the margins take over a party. This is my sense of how most of the world outside of America (and maybe Russia) sees Trump. They are not worried that Biden will destroy democracy and the world order, but that's exactly what they worry with Trump. But you are, of course, free to have your own take.
Brent, I hope none of our worst fears come true. I hope when November is over, we can find ways to bridge our differences as citizens regardless of who wins. I hope our common desire to build a better world, at least among people of good will, can find a way to move forward.
And if you were my neighbor, I would share a box of peaches, or blueberries, or whatever I have with you right now, because I see us as fellow travelers on this little blue marble, the only little blue marble we have. I would want to live as good neighbors, not with teeth gritted together in grim determination to tolerate one another, but as open hearted friends.
For those of us who have lived under the direct control and harm of abusers/psychopaths, we know it's sadly important to acknowledge the language used to describe those who love to harm.
They are a reality. A dire warning. Extremely dangerous.
When not in direct danger, I've tried to spend my life trying to make a beneficial difference, to little avail at this point, in the wide scheme of things.
Our life and health are worth more than those who do not care about it. And one side is incapable of caring ... an abuser/psychopath.
But I completely understand that another might never see or feel this ... because they have not yet been directly harmed by an abuser/psychopath for a prolonged period of their life. If only all were so lucky.
Then there are those who now decide to harbor similar thoughts, beliefs, ideals, to "toughen up," to not care about having a moral compass. Sadly those masses grow when someone in power is an abuser/psychopath.
It takes getting away from abusers/psychopaths to see this clearly, and not all want to.
No matter what, I wish everyone the absolute best ... because one's best means they are now capable of, and doing, what is the absolute best for all of us. 🙏🏼
I’m not sure who the big blob and his lost followers are, but such language sounds dehumanizing to me. I suspect you are referring to a political candidate in a representative republic and the people who support him. I find this kind of language disheartening because it’s a first step to political violence and ultimately genocide, something I witnessed first hand in Rwanda and the Balkans.
Of course you are free to describe your political opponents however you choose, but dehumanizing and inflammatory language too often results in violence and even civil war.
De-escalation requires effort to find common ground, respect differences of opinion, and exercise personal restraint and humility. I pray that there are enough people of goodwill who can transcend petty partisan politics for the benefit of all of us. If not, may God save us from our worst instincts.
I think part of Trump's "brilliance" is that he often makes it impossible to criticize him. He says something blatantly racist or openly violent, and if you call him "racist" or "pro-violence," people say, "Well, by calling him names you're just making people more likely to support him."
I do agree we should all try very hard to tone down the rhetoric. But Trump seems pretty clearly to be a classic sociopath, and NOT calling him that risks normalizing abhorrent, unacceptable behavior.
Same goes for "fascist." It is helpful to call him fascist-sympathetic? Fascist-leaning? It is obviously true -- he regularly praises and obviously admires and seeks to emulate evil, often fascist dictators. But it is *helpful* to say that? I don't know.
Your words of caution are noted, however. I'd like to think all people of intelligence and goodwill are on the same side, albeit with sometimes different strategies.
The word “fascist” long ago lost its original meaning (“to bind,” as in binding together all aspects of society under the control of the state. “This is our formula: everything in the state, nothing outside of the state, nothing against the state.” -Benito Mussolini, 1925), and now simply means something we don’t like. It’s a general purpose pejorative that means nothing.
So in the interest of honest discussion, how do you define fascism? For me, based on Mussolini’s definition, the government coercing social media companies to censor speech is an example of classic fascism. What are examples of fascist policies during Trump’s regime? I’m genuinely interested. Other than his crude tweets, which disgusted even his many of his most loyal supporters, what did he do that can accurately defined as fascist?
I will say that comments by Eric Swalwell and Joe Biden about how people with “assault rifles” were no match against government F-16s and nukes were truly troubling. Why would politicians make a threat such as that against half the population who opposed some of the policies advocated by those two individuals? Why would anyone even hint at mass murder on that scale? Do they not understand that nukes don’t make a distinction between Democrats, Libertarians, Republicans, and nonpartisan Americans?
I don't know what to tell ya, man. If you genuinely don't see how Trump is something fundamentally different in American politics, at least on the presidential level, and that that "difference" aligns very closely with fascist leaders of the European past, I don't know what to tell you. It's so much more than just a question of "his crude tweets," which didn't seem to disgust his supporters enough to, you know, ever openly criticize or oppose him in any serious way. Over and over again, (conservative) members of his former administration have come out and said openly and unambiguously: He is not fit to be president of the United States. He does not subscribe to basic democratic or liberal values or principles. And to compare all this to a few wildly out of context quotes from Biden or Swalwell, well, I honestly think you and I see this issue too differently to have an effective or interesting discussion. But thanks for the comments! Always appreciate people chiming in.
Were the comments taken wildly out of context? When someone in power makes threats, I assume it’s a window into their thinking, and threatening to nuke your fellow citizens is way over the line.
See, this is the problem. When we can’t discuss what’s best for our country because we decide we see the issues too differently to have an effective or interesting discussion. From where I stand, neither is my choice for a president that represents the best candidate out of a nation of 330 million people. Trump jokes about the bizarre situation involving Pelosi’s husband. Biden tells a voter he’s an idiot and that he, Biden, could beat the voter in a fight. Trump exaggerates; Biden plagiarizes. And yet the political parties and candidates thrive on dividing people so that reasonable people “see the issues too differently to have an effective or interesting discussion.” Why can’t well meaning people step back from the uniparty candidates, stop accepting the lesser of two evils, and demand leadership that governs for the good of the nation. Are we so invested in tired ideologies, ineffective policies, and big money having its way with our democracy that we aren’t willing to expect better?
If that is the case, then maybe it’s best to abandon the country as so many are doing. If we end up as another Somalia, we deserve what we get.
I completely hear you. When talking about abusers/psychopaths, though, it's a completely different story. Using words that do not give abusers/psychopaths power in our heads and in theirs is the point. It's horrible to have to realize this. But their brains thrive on that and their danger grows on that. I hope this just helps provide an example of how horrible all of this is for those of us who have actually lived under the direct control and harm of an abuser/psychopath for a prolonged period of our lives. This is not political at all (I'm not part of the parties and I'm all for both sides working together--sans abusers/psychopaths). That nobody is holding abusers/psychopaths accountable for their abusive/psychopathic harm is my point.
A few words from one of the world's leading violence experts...
"The institutions of psychiatry, law enforcement, and government have proved that no matter what your resources, you cannot reliably control the conduct of crazy people. It is not fair, but it is so.
"When a person requires something unattainable, such as total submission to an unreasonable demand, it is time to stop negotiating, because it’s clear the person cannot be satisfied.
"The abuser is the only person who can deliver moments of peace, by being his better self for a while. Thus, the abuser holds the key to the abused person’s feeling of well-being.
"I propose promoting the least glamorous incarnation of their names ... call a criminal ... 'but he was known as Chubby Ted.'"
“De-escalation requires effort to find common ground, respect differences of opinion, and exercise personal restraint and humility. “ So how’s that been working for you with Trump World, the militias, QAnon, Nazis, KKK, Anti-Semite’s, etc.?
As far as I can tell, no one is interested in trying to take my advice. It worked really well for me when I was face down on the pavement in Maputo with a gun pushed hard against the back of my neck during an armed carjacking. It didn’t work at all for three of my friends who were machine gunned down and their corpses burned at a checkpoint in Sierra Leone.
It worked well in Rwanda after the genocide when there were no other options besides reconciliation or retribution. It worked well enough in Somaliland after they ran out people to kill and weapons with which to kill each other.
I wonder from the way you framed your question what you think needs to happen, because your list includes extremists from both the left and the right. I’ve seen enough stacked corpses around the world that I prefer diplomacy and de-escalation to armed factions and machete wielding militias creating those stacks of corpses. We had one bloody civil war in this country and I prefer not to live through another. I’ve experienced enough war for one lifetime, but I suppose YMMV. Some people want to destroy those who disagree with their dogma. Others seek to create understanding and goodwill. What do you prefer?
I totally respect your decision to Trexit and am considering this myself. But what gives me pause is: if we leave, they win by default, and it accelerates the end of the Republic.
We've talked about this A LOT. And in the end, after 30+ years of activism, Michael and I ultimately decided, "It's okay to pass the torch." My style of activism (compromise, persuasion, peaceful non-violence) is very very out of style now anyway, and no one seemed to care what I thought we should do to fight.
I like what you said here. I was an organizer of the huge Mother's Day protests at the Nevada nuclear weapons site in the 1980s. I trained others in tactics of non-violent protest. I did what I could, with the issues that were pressing at the time. It is interesting to be older now and feel "slowed down" compared to the revolutionary energy I felt, and put into action over 3 decades ago.
That's very interesting! Honestly, I feel like there's always been a tension in activism between "persuasion" and "in your face", and in the best of worlds, the two sides work together, not undercut each other. But lately it feels like no one interested in persuasion at all now -- it's almost all performative theatrics (often obviously counter-productive). And whether my take is right or wrong, I have no role in this new world. This saddens me, however, because I think I did a lot of important, successful activism inu day. And I confess I am a little bitter, constantly being told I'm a "sell-out" and a "compromiser" because I think real political victories are far more important than cathartic release.
I left, but it took my boyfriend longer to go with me because he had loved ones in need of care and he truly wanted to be with them, which I totally supported.
Then, when we returned to the States for what we thought would be a week or two, those feelings of wanting/needing to be with loved ones returned. Again, I completely supported that.
But it's necessary to take care of ourselves now, too.
I know I'm lucky to have the ability to do so -- not everyone has been able to save for retirement, has a job that can be remote, or is physically able to travel.
We live simply, we travel frugally, and even with costs skyrocketing everywhere around the world, it's still more affordable to slow travel than to live in my hometown.
I will continue as a slow traveler, though I have dual citizenship options I'm working on, too.
Trump didn't well the first time...I don't believe this will be better again! I support idea to leave USA. The first time Trump won, I didn't renew my exired visa. I renewed until 2019. I think this man encourages division a lot and he encourages divison and racism
A Canadian friend who'd lived abroad several times set up a website sharing his experiences to assist Canadians when they returned home from overseas postings. Last we spoke, he was overwhelmed by requests from people living in the US who were preparing their escape plans....
Brent, do you still think that now, on July 16? My husband and I are really thinking otherwise after the debate performance and the Saturday shooting... We both have residency visas for Mexico. We can both work semi-remotely but not fully. But we had a lengthy discussion about moving over brekkie today.
I think that Biden must and will be replaced, which will reset everything. If he doesn't bow out, it will be a disaster. But again, I think he will. There is too much at stake. And Nancy Pelosi is working the phones as we speak.
(I'm annoyed by Democrats who insist he stay in. I do not understand their thinking at all. Yes, changing candidates is chaotic, but it is still a much much much better option, IMHO.)
I also think Trump will overplay his hand. I think Vance was a mistake.
I love your perspective. I have a friend here in Chicago who is very dialed into politics and is also optimistic. I need to surround myself with more optimists in general as I am anything but!
I suppose if you opt for #2 you will have to be aware of inheritance laws in whatever country you buy property. Could be much different than in the US. And if the laws aren't a problem , inheriting a property in , say, Italy, could be a pain for whoever is settling the eventual estate.
Capital gains tax is the other thing to be aware of. If you move abroad and continue to own property in the US, you may be required to pay capital gains tax when you sell it, depending on the length of your residency abroad (in France, where I reside, the capital gains obligation kicks in after 5 years).
We sold almost everything and left the U.S. for Ecuador (retirement visa, with my [younger] husband as my dependent) in February 2023. We did so to improve our finances and health (we both do some remote work), and to have an adventure, but we’re also grateful to not have to be living in the U.S. at this time. When we get our Ecuadorian permanent residency visas next spring, we plan to slow-travel through Europe for six months each year. Will we return to the U.S. at some point? That depends on whether or not the Sociopath in Chief gets into the White House again.
I'm proud of you two for making the move! It seems like you're flourishing!
I left America too, for France, and have no regrets. I am watching the political situation unfold again over there and biting my nails over it. I am still a citizen, so I'll 100000% be placing my vote in November.
If anyone has extra questions about relocating to France, my inbox is open!
Kelsey, I do!!! We’re in Portugal and hoping to move next year. Southern France is one of our top choices but France is particularly daunting, between what we’re reading about the shift in attitude with the far right toward immigrants (worrying about moving, putting down roots, having to leave) and the complex legal/tax requirements. Speaking with someone who’s self-employed (not positive if that’s you) and has experience would be AMAZING. I’ll send you a DM but first I want to double check and make sure that’s ok…?
We FREQUENTLY note the great irony. Obviously, this kind of travel is something we had long talked about. But I have decided (in my heart of hearts) that if Trump hadn't been elected, we probably wouldn't have made the leap. Too much of a hassle, too easy not to. And that would be have tragic.
But yes, it is very weird to have something so bad lead to something personally so good.
We can't afford to do this, which is a shame. My husband is a Dutch citizen so we could move anywhere in the EU, but he's 60 -- getting a job there would be a big risk, and we'd miss our young grandkids. I doubt we'd find a house as cheap as the one we have in the U.S. For me it's not an issue because I'm a writer, but my husband needs an employer.
My parents emigrated to Portugal in 2021, and I moved to the UK in my 20s, so we are much closer (versus California) and feel much safer. I had kind of accidentally emigrated, moved for my MA, stayed for my PhD and then met my husband. And hadn’t ever articulated why I wouldn’t go back until in a casual conversation someone asked me and I blankly said “I don’t want my son to do active shooter drills…” and then paused, kind of stunned.
Please Americans VOTE. So you are not faced with this type of decision.
YES YES YES YES YES
We were expats with permanent retirement visas living in Nicaragua when Trump was elected. We were in New Zealand for a month the night he won. It was such a total shock and all the locals were as surprised, too. Unfortunately, we had to escape Nicaragua in 2018 because of a political rebellion…over 300 people were killed and many escaped to Costa Rica and the U.S. Our house is still on Ometepe Island. We turned it into a successful Airbnb for digital nomads, but we won’t return there if Trump would be elected. Nicaragua has a dictator, too, so we would be jumping from one fire into another.
Honestly, we are too old to jump into residency in another country again. We just because first time grandparents, so our best bet would be to sell our houses in Nicaragua and the states and move to Yosemite National Park with our son, daughter-in-law and new baby Theo. We can buy them a house and build a tiny home for us and continue to travel. Maybe CA would separate and become its own nation. Dreaming of course…I don’t expect much to change for us, but I fear for our children and grandchildren. I am hopeful that he won’t be elected. Cutting the cable and only reading independent journalists on Substack like Jay Kuo, Heather Cox Richardson, and Joyce Vance give me hope. We can do this!
Very interesting -- and a good point about Nicaragua.
There are no wrong answers here, none at all. Well, maybe indifference, but that's not what you're talking about...
Canadas getting hotter. Leave your boots at home. But bring a fire hose if you come 👨🏼🌾
You all can do this 🌊💙🌊💙
Lol
I would like to make one little point about the Foreign Earned Income Exclusion. It only works on EARNED Income. If you are retired and have passive income from items like Rent and Pensions etc. you have to report that without the use of the exclusion. In almost all my foreign clients, the taxes they pay to their host country cancels out the taxes owed to the US (because you get a credit for paying taxes to the country where you are a resident). Lots of tax issues with leaving the US (oh, and yes you have to file a US tax return as long as you hold US passport/citizenship).
Thank you! Yes, sorry, broad overview. Trying not to get too bogged down in details -- and also not my exact expertise.
One other thing I understand from reading expat/immigrant pages and discussion forums is that maintaining U.S. investments from abroad can be difficult at best, or impossible. With the Know Your Customer requirements at U.S financial firms, maintaining a residential address in the States is not optional (and a mail-forwarding service is insufficient). Many get around this by using a trusted friend's/relative's address, but I can see the difficulties with this as I get older.
It's a fair point! Another option is an index fund, but I can understand how many want managed funds and specific advisors.
Like the trusted friends get sick & die. I find it difficult to find pre-need and “post need” guardians, health care surrogates, executors. I don’t have enough assets to pay institutional financial guardians and for literary and art executors. What are others doing both in the US and out of the country when adult kids can’t be chosen?
I think it's very important to have long conversations with trusted younger friends. We've done that, and done documentation too. Also helps to have a lawyer and financial advisor in the loop, which we've also done.
Hi there, an approach an older friend of mine used was to offer a younger friend a solid sum of money (something like $50-100k) to be their POA and executor. It was someone he met through a hobby and they became friends irrespective of the large age gap. My wife and I (kid-free) plan to do the same thing. Plus it's so satisfying mentoring/having younger friends!
Thanks for your suggestions. I like a part of your idea as I’ll address below, but for me not practical in this sense —the age difference is no obstacle in general:!a younger “helper” makes sense anyway for reasons below, but there are other issues related to age and not for me.
As to “age”: My relationships with my best friends going backward range between 27 and 46 years and all if my closest friends are 70-82 years old and some very sick or caregivers for spouses of the same ages.
(We all either went to law school together almost 50 years ago or else met through religious school for our kids when they were 4-8 years old and we all raised our kids together.)
So my biggest problem is that the only younger people I know are the children of my friends! And even though I trust them in general, they will be caring for their own parents.
And my own kids would be offended for me to have chosen their now “just acquaintances” even if they would not be caring for their own parents. (But my kids simply aren’t “right”
for the jobs by themselves for various reasons.)
So my dilemma is where do I find trained and trustworthy fiduciaries and caregivers of a younger age that are both affordable and trustworthy and emotionally right for such difficult jobs? I was a formal appointed caregiver /guardian for my Mom and informally for my husband and it is Hell and all consuming time-wise and frightfully expensive
And while it is very easy for me to make friends, making
friends and finding out whether they are “right” for
the jobs— caring physically, medically as a “Health care surrogate”, and administering and overseeing -and maybe even investing, powers of attorney, and taxes— financially for me and coordinating with literary and art executors and any business I might still have cannot be done fast enough: I need to “designate” NOW before I am incapacitated.
The other part of your comment I like is the idea of a lump sum payment but I’d modify it in this sense: I would not pay it all up front, certainly. Don’t know if I misunderstood your idea.
I’d also build in incentives for transparency, good results, law abiding, and require that he /she work with family to have them —family—be part of the processes but with the actual fiduciary making the final decisions. I’d also want them bonded and have errors and omissions insurance and a Confidentiality agreement, and to engage in “family mediation” to nip in the bud and resolve complaints & issues.
I am also wondering whether separate fiduciaries make sense: for the “person” and “financial /property” per some guardianship standards. I also wonder whether court appointment* is the only way permissible and whether recruiting from the law schools and medical and/or top nursing schools would work.* Very expensive and time-consuming.
The caregivers would also have to hire actual helpers & other workers /service providers, contract for services, potentially work with doctors and lawyers and CPA’s, administer a “living will”, potentially work with assisted living, Powers of Attorney, memory care homes, landlords & mortgage and insurance companies, realtors and estate people, clean out and sell a home,etc:
The overwhelming and sophisticated nature and volume of it all coupled with strange family dynamics and my 40 years’ younger” twin
”kids’” naiveté and our experiences with my mom that led to 8 years of truly expensive litigation between my sister (and her family) and my husband and I is why I am trying to plan ahead and in detail.
All of those complicated things would have to be out together well, so I could never consider moving to another country first even though I am eager to ASAP because of “King Trump”.
One would think that as a lawyer—in addition to a writer, photographer, artist/designer- I’d have it all under control but I don’t after being my mom’s care giver, Guardian, Personal Representative, running her commercial land investment business, raising twins, defending from a sibling’s 3 law suits, and then after 38 years together, being my husband’s caregiver for 4 years that I’d have all of my planning ready, but I don ‘t and “time’s’ a wasting “.
Finally: I have been working on a Substack newsletter addressing these kinds of issues among others. For me it’s all a real and expensive dilemma. I’d like to seek the advice of others, facilitate and/or moderate discussions, and gather / publish suggested solutions because I can’t imagine I am the only one with these kinds of issues.
Creative Planning (Kansas City) has a dedicated team for American expats. Great results thus far.
They're a fiduciary, too.
Good to know.
MEH, do you have a website or another place where potential clients can connect with you? (if you’re taking on new clients, that is) I need to find a new accountant for us on the US side of things as it’s just become clear that ours does not have the needed experience with US citizens living and working abroad.
I'm sorry I'm retired, but finding someone with experience is pretty important. The IRS may be slow, but they are dogged in their attempts to collect what they think is theirs.
exactly
Honestly, I don’t understand the jump ship because of Trump hysteria, especially after living in southern Africa and FSU republics most of my life.
I lived for years under the leadership of Presidents for Life Dr Hastings Kumuzu Banda and Comrade Robert Mugabe (including the era when he had 20,000 people in Matabeleland murdered. I also lived under the retro 1950 era doctrinaire Stalinist dictators in the FSU ‘stans.
After the last three and a half years living in a similar disfunctional geriocracy, I thrived. I find if one minimizes one’s consumption of ugly partisan politics, actively lives in one’s community, looks for common ground instead of reasons to disagree on politics (or religion or how to raise children), then life anywhere can be good. One of my close friends and I are as far apart politically as possible, but we don’t concern ourselves with that. Lately we’ve come to agree that both sides are lying assholes. Also, we have far more interests in common. Dogs. Food. The weather.
None of us have all the correct answers, so why pretend our particular tribe does? The left-right political binary is death to civil society, so why keep it up?
Hmmm. I agree that life goes on (in a way that is somewhat disturbing, I've found, living in dictatorships). But we all must also live our consciences. And while I agree that no one has all the answers, I do think one "tribe" has currently crossed a very clear line. I think those who reject democracy and openly promote violence should themselves be rejected.
True about crossing lines and political violence. We certainly saw political violence after the George Floyd’s death. Cities burned. Federal buildings assaulted. People died.
But at times like those, cool headed, centrist people are more needed than ever.
I guess I see a massive difference here. One tribe condemns violence -- even if they often don't always denounce violence in their own ranks strongly enough for my liking. The other tribe has lined up behind a man who openly promotes and espouses violence -- mocking Nancy Pelosi's husband who was almost killed in a political attack, encouraging violence against reporters and political opponents, declaring the rioters on 1/6 are "hostages" and victims who should be pardoned, praising evil dictators who have killed tens of thousands and imprisoned journalists. I don't really see a "both sides" here, except that no human being is ever perfect. But to compare normal human failings and hypocrisies with what Trump openly strands for is, I think, wrong.
I appreciate that you have strong feelings about this and are entitled to them. My perspective is different and was formed in a crucible of mass murder, corruption, and dehumanization of the opposition during the course of my international career.
As far as violence by one side, I believe all the assassination attempts since 1865 have been against Republicans, except for JFK, who was killed by an a Communist wannabe. (His brother RFK was killed by a Palestinian who hated him for his support of Israel.) Mocking Nancy Pelosi’s husband is not the same as constant comparisons to Hitler, “we need to target Trump,” “Trump needs a bullet,” “Trump needs to be eliminated,” etc.
Seriously, what did Trump do during his first term to cause such eliminationist rhetoric? The economy was good, especially for minorities, the Abraham Accords were falling into place, NATO members were finally paying their fare share. The overall economy was good until Covid hit. I could go on, but as I said earlier, I’m not one to praise politicians. We hire them to do the people’s business, not engage in constant lawfare against someone they don’t like. And I don’t appreciate how the law is so unequally applied, depending on one’s political affiliation. For example, the whole classified document mess where one guy is raided by the FBI and the other guy is said to be too fragile and confused to be prosecuted.
I see actions and attitudes that were unthinkable when I was a kid now commonplace. Why is every Republican president or candidate “literally Hitler?” Demonize the opposition, dehumanize those with different political views (something I especially noticed during that divisive Leni Riefenstahl-like speech Biden gave early onattempt to kill the opposition. It all makes me feel as if I’m living back in Zimbabwe where for 37 years, a vicious little man murdered his opponents, whether an entire ethnic group or a political opponent or members of his opponent’s family. In fact, during my entire 25 year career, I never worked in a functioning democracy. The countries where I went to help clean up the messes were always destroyed by leftist ideologues. Where those ideologies were abandoned, countries would thrive, unless they were colonized by the Chinese who now have a greater presence in Africa than the European colonialists ever managed.
One thing I learned in life after working in Somalia, Sudan and South Sudan, Zimbabwe, the Balkans, the Caucuses region, and Rwanda is that when a political party starts dehumanizing people, take their threats seriously, because they really do want to destroy you.
You too are entitled to your opinions, but I don't agree with a single thing you've said. Biden and the Democrats mostly seem like normal politicians with normal flaws, and the party's crazy extremists are at the margins. Trump and the Republicans seems like what happens when the crazy extremists at the margins take over a party. This is my sense of how most of the world outside of America (and maybe Russia) sees Trump. They are not worried that Biden will destroy democracy and the world order, but that's exactly what they worry with Trump. But you are, of course, free to have your own take.
Brent, I hope none of our worst fears come true. I hope when November is over, we can find ways to bridge our differences as citizens regardless of who wins. I hope our common desire to build a better world, at least among people of good will, can find a way to move forward.
And if you were my neighbor, I would share a box of peaches, or blueberries, or whatever I have with you right now, because I see us as fellow travelers on this little blue marble, the only little blue marble we have. I would want to live as good neighbors, not with teeth gritted together in grim determination to tolerate one another, but as open hearted friends.
All the best.
To help with the understanding...
For those of us who have lived under the direct control and harm of abusers/psychopaths, we know it's sadly important to acknowledge the language used to describe those who love to harm.
They are a reality. A dire warning. Extremely dangerous.
When not in direct danger, I've tried to spend my life trying to make a beneficial difference, to little avail at this point, in the wide scheme of things.
Our life and health are worth more than those who do not care about it. And one side is incapable of caring ... an abuser/psychopath.
But I completely understand that another might never see or feel this ... because they have not yet been directly harmed by an abuser/psychopath for a prolonged period of their life. If only all were so lucky.
Then there are those who now decide to harbor similar thoughts, beliefs, ideals, to "toughen up," to not care about having a moral compass. Sadly those masses grow when someone in power is an abuser/psychopath.
It takes getting away from abusers/psychopaths to see this clearly, and not all want to.
No matter what, I wish everyone the absolute best ... because one's best means they are now capable of, and doing, what is the absolute best for all of us. 🙏🏼
I’m not sure who the big blob and his lost followers are, but such language sounds dehumanizing to me. I suspect you are referring to a political candidate in a representative republic and the people who support him. I find this kind of language disheartening because it’s a first step to political violence and ultimately genocide, something I witnessed first hand in Rwanda and the Balkans.
Of course you are free to describe your political opponents however you choose, but dehumanizing and inflammatory language too often results in violence and even civil war.
De-escalation requires effort to find common ground, respect differences of opinion, and exercise personal restraint and humility. I pray that there are enough people of goodwill who can transcend petty partisan politics for the benefit of all of us. If not, may God save us from our worst instincts.
I think part of Trump's "brilliance" is that he often makes it impossible to criticize him. He says something blatantly racist or openly violent, and if you call him "racist" or "pro-violence," people say, "Well, by calling him names you're just making people more likely to support him."
I do agree we should all try very hard to tone down the rhetoric. But Trump seems pretty clearly to be a classic sociopath, and NOT calling him that risks normalizing abhorrent, unacceptable behavior.
Same goes for "fascist." It is helpful to call him fascist-sympathetic? Fascist-leaning? It is obviously true -- he regularly praises and obviously admires and seeks to emulate evil, often fascist dictators. But it is *helpful* to say that? I don't know.
Your words of caution are noted, however. I'd like to think all people of intelligence and goodwill are on the same side, albeit with sometimes different strategies.
The word “fascist” long ago lost its original meaning (“to bind,” as in binding together all aspects of society under the control of the state. “This is our formula: everything in the state, nothing outside of the state, nothing against the state.” -Benito Mussolini, 1925), and now simply means something we don’t like. It’s a general purpose pejorative that means nothing.
So in the interest of honest discussion, how do you define fascism? For me, based on Mussolini’s definition, the government coercing social media companies to censor speech is an example of classic fascism. What are examples of fascist policies during Trump’s regime? I’m genuinely interested. Other than his crude tweets, which disgusted even his many of his most loyal supporters, what did he do that can accurately defined as fascist?
I will say that comments by Eric Swalwell and Joe Biden about how people with “assault rifles” were no match against government F-16s and nukes were truly troubling. Why would politicians make a threat such as that against half the population who opposed some of the policies advocated by those two individuals? Why would anyone even hint at mass murder on that scale? Do they not understand that nukes don’t make a distinction between Democrats, Libertarians, Republicans, and nonpartisan Americans?
I don't know what to tell ya, man. If you genuinely don't see how Trump is something fundamentally different in American politics, at least on the presidential level, and that that "difference" aligns very closely with fascist leaders of the European past, I don't know what to tell you. It's so much more than just a question of "his crude tweets," which didn't seem to disgust his supporters enough to, you know, ever openly criticize or oppose him in any serious way. Over and over again, (conservative) members of his former administration have come out and said openly and unambiguously: He is not fit to be president of the United States. He does not subscribe to basic democratic or liberal values or principles. And to compare all this to a few wildly out of context quotes from Biden or Swalwell, well, I honestly think you and I see this issue too differently to have an effective or interesting discussion. But thanks for the comments! Always appreciate people chiming in.
Were the comments taken wildly out of context? When someone in power makes threats, I assume it’s a window into their thinking, and threatening to nuke your fellow citizens is way over the line.
See, this is the problem. When we can’t discuss what’s best for our country because we decide we see the issues too differently to have an effective or interesting discussion. From where I stand, neither is my choice for a president that represents the best candidate out of a nation of 330 million people. Trump jokes about the bizarre situation involving Pelosi’s husband. Biden tells a voter he’s an idiot and that he, Biden, could beat the voter in a fight. Trump exaggerates; Biden plagiarizes. And yet the political parties and candidates thrive on dividing people so that reasonable people “see the issues too differently to have an effective or interesting discussion.” Why can’t well meaning people step back from the uniparty candidates, stop accepting the lesser of two evils, and demand leadership that governs for the good of the nation. Are we so invested in tired ideologies, ineffective policies, and big money having its way with our democracy that we aren’t willing to expect better?
If that is the case, then maybe it’s best to abandon the country as so many are doing. If we end up as another Somalia, we deserve what we get.
I completely hear you. When talking about abusers/psychopaths, though, it's a completely different story. Using words that do not give abusers/psychopaths power in our heads and in theirs is the point. It's horrible to have to realize this. But their brains thrive on that and their danger grows on that. I hope this just helps provide an example of how horrible all of this is for those of us who have actually lived under the direct control and harm of an abuser/psychopath for a prolonged period of our lives. This is not political at all (I'm not part of the parties and I'm all for both sides working together--sans abusers/psychopaths). That nobody is holding abusers/psychopaths accountable for their abusive/psychopathic harm is my point.
A few words from one of the world's leading violence experts...
"The institutions of psychiatry, law enforcement, and government have proved that no matter what your resources, you cannot reliably control the conduct of crazy people. It is not fair, but it is so.
"When a person requires something unattainable, such as total submission to an unreasonable demand, it is time to stop negotiating, because it’s clear the person cannot be satisfied.
"The abuser is the only person who can deliver moments of peace, by being his better self for a while. Thus, the abuser holds the key to the abused person’s feeling of well-being.
"I propose promoting the least glamorous incarnation of their names ... call a criminal ... 'but he was known as Chubby Ted.'"
“De-escalation requires effort to find common ground, respect differences of opinion, and exercise personal restraint and humility. “ So how’s that been working for you with Trump World, the militias, QAnon, Nazis, KKK, Anti-Semite’s, etc.?
As far as I can tell, no one is interested in trying to take my advice. It worked really well for me when I was face down on the pavement in Maputo with a gun pushed hard against the back of my neck during an armed carjacking. It didn’t work at all for three of my friends who were machine gunned down and their corpses burned at a checkpoint in Sierra Leone.
It worked well in Rwanda after the genocide when there were no other options besides reconciliation or retribution. It worked well enough in Somaliland after they ran out people to kill and weapons with which to kill each other.
I wonder from the way you framed your question what you think needs to happen, because your list includes extremists from both the left and the right. I’ve seen enough stacked corpses around the world that I prefer diplomacy and de-escalation to armed factions and machete wielding militias creating those stacks of corpses. We had one bloody civil war in this country and I prefer not to live through another. I’ve experienced enough war for one lifetime, but I suppose YMMV. Some people want to destroy those who disagree with their dogma. Others seek to create understanding and goodwill. What do you prefer?
I totally respect your decision to Trexit and am considering this myself. But what gives me pause is: if we leave, they win by default, and it accelerates the end of the Republic.
We've talked about this A LOT. And in the end, after 30+ years of activism, Michael and I ultimately decided, "It's okay to pass the torch." My style of activism (compromise, persuasion, peaceful non-violence) is very very out of style now anyway, and no one seemed to care what I thought we should do to fight.
I like what you said here. I was an organizer of the huge Mother's Day protests at the Nevada nuclear weapons site in the 1980s. I trained others in tactics of non-violent protest. I did what I could, with the issues that were pressing at the time. It is interesting to be older now and feel "slowed down" compared to the revolutionary energy I felt, and put into action over 3 decades ago.
That's very interesting! Honestly, I feel like there's always been a tension in activism between "persuasion" and "in your face", and in the best of worlds, the two sides work together, not undercut each other. But lately it feels like no one interested in persuasion at all now -- it's almost all performative theatrics (often obviously counter-productive). And whether my take is right or wrong, I have no role in this new world. This saddens me, however, because I think I did a lot of important, successful activism inu day. And I confess I am a little bitter, constantly being told I'm a "sell-out" and a "compromiser" because I think real political victories are far more important than cathartic release.
Oh my God, yes.
I left, but it took my boyfriend longer to go with me because he had loved ones in need of care and he truly wanted to be with them, which I totally supported.
Then, when we returned to the States for what we thought would be a week or two, those feelings of wanting/needing to be with loved ones returned. Again, I completely supported that.
But it's necessary to take care of ourselves now, too.
I know I'm lucky to have the ability to do so -- not everyone has been able to save for retirement, has a job that can be remote, or is physically able to travel.
We live simply, we travel frugally, and even with costs skyrocketing everywhere around the world, it's still more affordable to slow travel than to live in my hometown.
I will continue as a slow traveler, though I have dual citizenship options I'm working on, too.
Yes, caring for others is important. We were in that boat too.
Slow travel is a very wonderful secret life hack. I'm a fan.
Trump didn't well the first time...I don't believe this will be better again! I support idea to leave USA. The first time Trump won, I didn't renew my exired visa. I renewed until 2019. I think this man encourages division a lot and he encourages divison and racism
I don't think he's going to win either. But you never know!
A Canadian friend who'd lived abroad several times set up a website sharing his experiences to assist Canadians when they returned home from overseas postings. Last we spoke, he was overwhelmed by requests from people living in the US who were preparing their escape plans....
I can imagine. I still think Trump is going to lose, however.
Brent, do you still think that now, on July 16? My husband and I are really thinking otherwise after the debate performance and the Saturday shooting... We both have residency visas for Mexico. We can both work semi-remotely but not fully. But we had a lengthy discussion about moving over brekkie today.
I think that Biden must and will be replaced, which will reset everything. If he doesn't bow out, it will be a disaster. But again, I think he will. There is too much at stake. And Nancy Pelosi is working the phones as we speak.
(I'm annoyed by Democrats who insist he stay in. I do not understand their thinking at all. Yes, changing candidates is chaotic, but it is still a much much much better option, IMHO.)
I also think Trump will overplay his hand. I think Vance was a mistake.
I love your perspective. I have a friend here in Chicago who is very dialed into politics and is also optimistic. I need to surround myself with more optimists in general as I am anything but!
Well, it depends on the day! But yes, this is still hope.
woow this is worst than I thought!
How so?
I suppose if you opt for #2 you will have to be aware of inheritance laws in whatever country you buy property. Could be much different than in the US. And if the laws aren't a problem , inheriting a property in , say, Italy, could be a pain for whoever is settling the eventual estate.
Oh! Good point! Yes, yes, yes. Just not enough space to include everything I have learned.
(I should post these articles, to get comments, before posting them for real. But how would that work? haha)
Capital gains tax is the other thing to be aware of. If you move abroad and continue to own property in the US, you may be required to pay capital gains tax when you sell it, depending on the length of your residency abroad (in France, where I reside, the capital gains obligation kicks in after 5 years).
Good point! Thanks for adding it.
Pursuing Croatia citizenship now through my spouse’s ancestry. We are early retirees who have spent a few months there for each the past few years.
Jealous!
You two encouraged us to first visit a few years ago with your Split post. Thanks!
Love hearing that!
Like you wrote “Split just works…”.
Lucky
Croatia is interesting! It’s on our list of possibilities as well, for our next move.
We sold almost everything and left the U.S. for Ecuador (retirement visa, with my [younger] husband as my dependent) in February 2023. We did so to improve our finances and health (we both do some remote work), and to have an adventure, but we’re also grateful to not have to be living in the U.S. at this time. When we get our Ecuadorian permanent residency visas next spring, we plan to slow-travel through Europe for six months each year. Will we return to the U.S. at some point? That depends on whether or not the Sociopath in Chief gets into the White House again.
Great plan! Glad you have a head start.
So are we, Brent!
I’m interested in Ecuador as well! I’ll have to do more research - I’m 3 years from retirement but interested in living outside of the US.
Be aware of the drug cartel problem in Ecuador. From a distance it seems to be a big problem.
I'm proud of you two for making the move! It seems like you're flourishing!
I left America too, for France, and have no regrets. I am watching the political situation unfold again over there and biting my nails over it. I am still a citizen, so I'll 100000% be placing my vote in November.
If anyone has extra questions about relocating to France, my inbox is open!
Thank you! You too.
Yup, we'll be voting for SURE.
Kelsey, I do!!! We’re in Portugal and hoping to move next year. Southern France is one of our top choices but France is particularly daunting, between what we’re reading about the shift in attitude with the far right toward immigrants (worrying about moving, putting down roots, having to leave) and the complex legal/tax requirements. Speaking with someone who’s self-employed (not positive if that’s you) and has experience would be AMAZING. I’ll send you a DM but first I want to double check and make sure that’s ok…?
What a strange feeling must be that such an amazing life change came out of such a terrible thing back in 2016. Life is weird!
We FREQUENTLY note the great irony. Obviously, this kind of travel is something we had long talked about. But I have decided (in my heart of hearts) that if Trump hadn't been elected, we probably wouldn't have made the leap. Too much of a hassle, too easy not to. And that would be have tragic.
But yes, it is very weird to have something so bad lead to something personally so good.
We can't afford to do this, which is a shame. My husband is a Dutch citizen so we could move anywhere in the EU, but he's 60 -- getting a job there would be a big risk, and we'd miss our young grandkids. I doubt we'd find a house as cheap as the one we have in the U.S. For me it's not an issue because I'm a writer, but my husband needs an employer.
All those reasons make a lot of sense.
All true. Fair enough.
Ugh. Depressing. But, thanks for the post.
Thank you, you're welcome, and I'm sorry.
My parents emigrated to Portugal in 2021, and I moved to the UK in my 20s, so we are much closer (versus California) and feel much safer. I had kind of accidentally emigrated, moved for my MA, stayed for my PhD and then met my husband. And hadn’t ever articulated why I wouldn’t go back until in a casual conversation someone asked me and I blankly said “I don’t want my son to do active shooter drills…” and then paused, kind of stunned.
Sobering, but true. Yes for .us too this is about more than Trump. It's a question of.culture.