I unplugged from Facebook and Twitter last February with the same results you report. A friend actually quit speaking to me over it because she felt judged. I emphasized I was doing this for myself and had no opinion about what orher people should do. Oh well. For me Facebook led to outrage and Twitter led to depression. Everyone is screaming at everyone else. No one feels heard. Online rudeness is ordinary and spills over to the real world. I don’t need it. I quit it. And I’m happier.
Oh man! Well, she doesn't sound like a ground friend. The thing that concerns me about all this is that I don't think most of us are aware how social media is changing us. I wasn't.
I quit FB a couple of years ago and I don't miss it AT ALL. It's a little tougher weaning myself off Twitter, but I'm working on it. Especially after recent events.
💜LOVE💜 your little experiment! This is *exactly* why I refuse to get a phone. It's mildly irritating when confronted with the occasional QR code instead of an actual menu at a restaurant or something. However, the payoff for actually connecting with people face-to-face in real life, or simply sitting with my own thoughts while out and about, is totally and completely worth it!!! 💜💜💜
I thought of you! (Not having a phone...) I do think, though, certain things will REQUIRE a smartphone in the future. This will seriously annoy me! (Here in the Netherlands, you're given a serious discount for buying metro tickets on your phone, which I think is so unfair...)
Absolutely unfair! I already deal with some of that, to an extent. Instagram rarely works well from my laptop, for example, because It wasn't designed for Luddites like me. 🤣🤣🤣 I deal with it, because it's not essential in my life. If public transportation were, on the other hand, with significant discounts like you describe, I'd be furious!
We just spent two entire days without phones (shudder) but we have Antigua SIM cards now, so all is right with our worlds again. We tried to inquire at the ticket office for the Barbuda ferry today. They would tell us NOTHING- not schedules, not pricing, not one thing except all the info we need is on the website. I guess flip phone people can’t go to Barbuda…..It certainly is a different world to travel in since Al Gore invented the internet….
Haha, yeah, and we're noticing that you now get discounts for buying tickets online too, to encourage people to do it. Soon there will be no ticket offices anyway, like in Barbuda. Sighhhh.
It’s true ...I just did a news fast for 2 weeks because that is where I go on my phone ...And I was so much better for it
...not uninformed just not caught in the cycle of stimuli and news. And reading even before this I made a point of at least a chapter or 3 a day....I missed books at this level....we all need to slow down and be here now
I took FB off of my phone and my last two weeks have been weirdly less stressful, even as I continue to participate in the Twitter conversation about the inevitable collapse of Twitter. I went without data on my phone almost three years ago now when I took a group of students to Costa Rica and I discovered much the same thing. I wasn't worried about things I couldn't know anything about.
It's funny how so many of us are trying to deal with this issue, often in different ways. I think those of us who remember "before" know something is not right.
When out, I go for hours, obviously. Initially even at home, I ignored my phone, but I confess it's easy to get back into the habit of checking it. I'm trying to turn if OFF more too.
That is really interesting, I had no idea it would make such a difference.
I've never had a mobile phone, because I live in an area of rural Australia with no mobile coverage, so there's no point - even if we had them we couldn't use them. We have a landline and internet (not broadband), and access Instagram or whatever on a pc. I confess I'm very happy with this arrangement!
This is the way I already live, and I have never had the slightest desire for a smart phone. I just don't get their appeal (I sometimes feel like the only person in the world who feels this way). I got a cell phone for emergencies/travel, and it spends most of its life turned off. I use a desktop computer for internet access, so I have built-in boundaries about when and how I can get online. The only downside to living this way is that the rest of the world expects us to have smartphones, but I won't switch over until it's the only way I can bank or get medical appointments. Until then, I savor my life the way it is
Sadly, that day is coming. Michael and I see it as we travel. Soon some kind of smartphone will be essential. Already, you receive "discounts" for buying tickets, etc. online. Very unfair.
I, too, am wondering how long we can go without. Already it's mandatory for some things to enter a mobile number to be sent a "security" text, and these people don't seem to get that even if I had one, I couldn't use it (no coverage here).
Some places give you alternatives--to have an audio prompt sent to a landline, for example, or to get a code via email. I hate it when a text is the *only* option. You're right; plenty of places don't even have coverage.
Good stuff again, as usual. I have a smart phone, my husband has a low-end flip phone with no internet. I like my smart phone but I can't/won't use it as a replacement for my computer or tablet. I do have my books (Kobo) and I have Feedly but nothing else like social media. I use Twitter but I don't want it on the phone and I don't use Facebook or Instagram so they are out as well. I like the arrangement because I don't feel the need to check things. I'm an old soul and I don't like sending texts or interacting on a 6 inch screen. I need a keyboard and a full size screen. That was an issue when I was working and they talked about switching people to tablets and small, light weight laptops (that's another issue altogether). Thanks, again for your (and Michael's) musings. I enjoy your site!
Thank you very much! We're having a ball writing it. You have the right attitude, I think. With social media, especially, I think the answer is to only interact on your desktop, not on your phone.
Dear Brent: I'm in the middle of a book, titled "The Flickering MInd". It was written by Todd Oppenheimer and published in 2003. The subtitle of the book was "Saving Education from the False Promise of Technology" Shortly before reading that book, I read yet another book titled, "Screen Schooled: Two Veteran Teachers Expose How Technology Overuse Is Making Our Kids Dumber". I'm here to tell you as a long term teacher these 2 books doth speaketh the truth. I teach here in the Silicon Valley and I see firsthand everyday I'm in the classroom the effect abundant technology has on the ability of my students to imagine, think creativity, or just daydream. The second book was published in 2018, and it shows how further down the line the "advancement" of technology has taken us. In my lab classes, many of my students showed a preference for using the old fashioned method learning, textbooks, paper, and pen/pencil. I daresay that, if I was to present a workshop on these two books where I live and work, I would probably be charged with blasphemy and labeled a heretic. Oh well. As for me, I mostly watch YouTube now for music videos. I've also reached technological overload. Take care and stay safe.
Very very interesting! Yes, I also have noticed that if you question the prevailing paradigm at all, there is a vicious pushback. Even the notion that this is changing our brains -- which is OBVIOUSLY is -- is often met with denials. That said, some change is inevitable, of course. I just wish it had been done in such a way that we could incorporate and adjust to the changes more slowly. I suppose human nature (and capitalism) is the enemy here. P.S. You sound like a great teacher!
Perfect. It's so nuts because I once loved Twitter for advocacy and awareness. But social media is now an example of what I avoid. I hope we all go back to having our own blogs where we follow/comment on each other's in a way to keep chosen community. BTW, grew up in and spent the last of the pandemic back in Seattle and was shocked at the violence.
Isn't it strange? I too yearn for the early days of new media, even though I was frustrated by how "toxic" it could get at the time. What I didn't know!
What do you mean by violence in Seattle? We have definitely noticed the city has changed a lot in the last five years since we left...
When walking around Seattle (Green Lake, downtown, etc., during daylight, populated hours), we've been verbally and physically assaulted, had items thrown at us and chased - for no known reason. People have been shot on our corner. Multiple buildings around us set on fire (including at the base of our building). It's all appeared homeless related - openly violent homeless individuals, which is a completely different experience.
We spent 3 months near the Space Needle, 6 months in the U District, 7 months in Fremont - all in newish apartments. And before our long-term travel overseas, we were in Ballard (on a sailboat, before it was like this). But we are on foot or bike everywhere we go, so maybe we're just more exposed. It just seems so different, our beloved Seattle. So now in a mountain town for a bit, then back overseas. =)
I just feel sorry for - like with social media - the reality that we as humans are adapting to worse. Many in Seattle are just used to it now and might not even be able to voice it. But there IS better, just as you realized. It's pretty wild being able to leave our doors unlocked again and walk anywhere, feeling physically much safer. We feel safe like this in Europe, too.
And we hope this "worse" state is just a passing phase in the States. 🫣
I try to check out every once in a while and now that USA elections are pretty much sorted it will be much easier as my world is not going to crash due to idiots in charge. I'm happy with where my country is and where it's going. Sigh. Anyhow, your piece really reminded me that it is great to escape from the everyday impact from bad social media. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, sanctimonious or not! Love you guys, travel safe, and keep on writing, for all our sanities.
haha, thanks, Michael. Yes, I'm feeling vaguely optimistic too, for the first time in a loooooong time. Partly social media, but also partly better news!
Amen, Brent. I never was much of one for Twitter. I have been stunned by how it has silenced conversation about vital topics, and led us into irrationality. I've dramatically curtailed Facebook, and it's still not enough. More time reading has been a wonderful rescue from the lotus eating that is social media. You don't sound sanctimonious. You sound like an adult.
It would be so lovely to read all about the phones/plans you've used along the way. For instance, did you both have Google phones at one point, or always different carriers? Did Google say you could keep your plan as long as you didn't use the phone for international phone calls (just data)? I still have my Google Fi but I think I'm only able to keep it because I've never really made international phone calls during my extended time abroad, I mostly use wifi at Airbnbs, and I only used the rare data while out and about (less than 2 GB/mo), but I'm not totally sure and I'm afraid to ask Google. =)
Yeah, we always both had Google Fi, for first four years of travel. We usually had the same Android phones, but later, different ones too. And one by one, our Google Fi friends saw their plans cut off -- and then we did too. Even being back in the U.S. regularly didn't make any difference, and they make NO exceptions once they cut you off. But honestly, I'm glad we made the switch (to Flexiroam and Google Voice, which are both very very cheap). We've had a few problems with Flexiroam in a few countries, but then we occasionally problems with Google Fi too (and I HATED Google Fi's customer service).
Google Voice is mostly free, 1 cents a minute for some international calls, free for most others. We were able to easily port our existing numbers. The only difference is we use a different app on the phone.
Flexiroam, if you buy your data when they have 80% and 70% off sales, is usually about $4-$6 a gig, which is also cheaper than Google Fi. There is no monthly fee, so you JUST pay for data -- and with Google Fi, for calls.
We're spending about $20-$30 a month each now (if that), as opposed to $50-$70 before.
We actually haven't used that many plans and there are soooooo many out there! I had a Google phone, but Brent did not and we both got treated the same way. And it wasn't the phone service they were going to cut off, but using data. So that forced us to switch and we still have Google voice today.
Excellent article, and I don't think you sound sanctimonious at all. I rarely check my phone when out, but I do probably spend too much time on SM at home. Gonna do it less! Hopefully 😂
Thanks! But honestly, our life is less stressful now than when we owned a house in Seattle. Much simpler! It helps that we're slow travelers, staying in most places 1-3 months. Glad to have you along!
I’m actually quite envious of your life travelling at your own pace. I traveled all over the US and some parts of Europe with my show dogs. Loved it. I always scheduled in an extra day of two to explore the area. But I could never get to know a place as you guys do.
I can imagine life in Seattle is less than peaceful these days. I do love that whole area. It was quite some, umm, decades ago, though! I lived in Renton, long before people had computers on their desktops.
I think sometimes of trying to move to some places abroad, especially in Europe, where my mediocre retirement would go farther. If I ever manage it, perhaps you’ll visit as you pass through!
In all seriousness, that really is the key: things are much cheaper overseas, even in Western Europe, but definitely in Eastern and Central Europe (and also Asia, etc.). If you ever do it, we'll be here!
I unplugged from Facebook and Twitter last February with the same results you report. A friend actually quit speaking to me over it because she felt judged. I emphasized I was doing this for myself and had no opinion about what orher people should do. Oh well. For me Facebook led to outrage and Twitter led to depression. Everyone is screaming at everyone else. No one feels heard. Online rudeness is ordinary and spills over to the real world. I don’t need it. I quit it. And I’m happier.
Oh man! Well, she doesn't sound like a ground friend. The thing that concerns me about all this is that I don't think most of us are aware how social media is changing us. I wasn't.
We met on Facebook. I drove 8 hours last Thanksgiving to have dinner with her and her two sons. Live and learn.
I quit FB a couple of years ago and I don't miss it AT ALL. It's a little tougher weaning myself off Twitter, but I'm working on it. Especially after recent events.
I never got into Twitter, but I love the closed Facebook groups I belong to. That they are closed is the key to their working though.
💜LOVE💜 your little experiment! This is *exactly* why I refuse to get a phone. It's mildly irritating when confronted with the occasional QR code instead of an actual menu at a restaurant or something. However, the payoff for actually connecting with people face-to-face in real life, or simply sitting with my own thoughts while out and about, is totally and completely worth it!!! 💜💜💜
I thought of you! (Not having a phone...) I do think, though, certain things will REQUIRE a smartphone in the future. This will seriously annoy me! (Here in the Netherlands, you're given a serious discount for buying metro tickets on your phone, which I think is so unfair...)
Absolutely unfair! I already deal with some of that, to an extent. Instagram rarely works well from my laptop, for example, because It wasn't designed for Luddites like me. 🤣🤣🤣 I deal with it, because it's not essential in my life. If public transportation were, on the other hand, with significant discounts like you describe, I'd be furious!
Yup, I completely agree.
We just spent two entire days without phones (shudder) but we have Antigua SIM cards now, so all is right with our worlds again. We tried to inquire at the ticket office for the Barbuda ferry today. They would tell us NOTHING- not schedules, not pricing, not one thing except all the info we need is on the website. I guess flip phone people can’t go to Barbuda…..It certainly is a different world to travel in since Al Gore invented the internet….
Haha, yeah, and we're noticing that you now get discounts for buying tickets online too, to encourage people to do it. Soon there will be no ticket offices anyway, like in Barbuda. Sighhhh.
It’s true ...I just did a news fast for 2 weeks because that is where I go on my phone ...And I was so much better for it
...not uninformed just not caught in the cycle of stimuli and news. And reading even before this I made a point of at least a chapter or 3 a day....I missed books at this level....we all need to slow down and be here now
Not everywhere at once
Well put! Not everywhere at once.
I took FB off of my phone and my last two weeks have been weirdly less stressful, even as I continue to participate in the Twitter conversation about the inevitable collapse of Twitter. I went without data on my phone almost three years ago now when I took a group of students to Costa Rica and I discovered much the same thing. I wasn't worried about things I couldn't know anything about.
I'm still hungry for knowledge about the world I'm living in, but there is something refreshing about stepping away some. In fact, I wrote this shortly after I took FB off of my phone: https://sarahstyf.substack.com/p/what-do-i-do-about-social-media
Nice piece! and thanks for the link.
It's funny how so many of us are trying to deal with this issue, often in different ways. I think those of us who remember "before" know something is not right.
Absolutely.
Agree re hunger for knowledge, but I am getting that from different sources (Google News; NPR; Reddit).
I use Reddit as well, but things can get ugly there...
I avoid Reddit, but yes to the other two.
Yes! How often do you check your phone now?
When out, I go for hours, obviously. Initially even at home, I ignored my phone, but I confess it's easy to get back into the habit of checking it. I'm trying to turn if OFF more too.
That is really interesting, I had no idea it would make such a difference.
I've never had a mobile phone, because I live in an area of rural Australia with no mobile coverage, so there's no point - even if we had them we couldn't use them. We have a landline and internet (not broadband), and access Instagram or whatever on a pc. I confess I'm very happy with this arrangement!
haha yes I can see the advantage! There are conveniences to having a phone while traveling, of course. One of us needs access, at least.
This is the way I already live, and I have never had the slightest desire for a smart phone. I just don't get their appeal (I sometimes feel like the only person in the world who feels this way). I got a cell phone for emergencies/travel, and it spends most of its life turned off. I use a desktop computer for internet access, so I have built-in boundaries about when and how I can get online. The only downside to living this way is that the rest of the world expects us to have smartphones, but I won't switch over until it's the only way I can bank or get medical appointments. Until then, I savor my life the way it is
Sadly, that day is coming. Michael and I see it as we travel. Soon some kind of smartphone will be essential. Already, you receive "discounts" for buying tickets, etc. online. Very unfair.
I, too, am wondering how long we can go without. Already it's mandatory for some things to enter a mobile number to be sent a "security" text, and these people don't seem to get that even if I had one, I couldn't use it (no coverage here).
Some places give you alternatives--to have an audio prompt sent to a landline, for example, or to get a code via email. I hate it when a text is the *only* option. You're right; plenty of places don't even have coverage.
Good stuff again, as usual. I have a smart phone, my husband has a low-end flip phone with no internet. I like my smart phone but I can't/won't use it as a replacement for my computer or tablet. I do have my books (Kobo) and I have Feedly but nothing else like social media. I use Twitter but I don't want it on the phone and I don't use Facebook or Instagram so they are out as well. I like the arrangement because I don't feel the need to check things. I'm an old soul and I don't like sending texts or interacting on a 6 inch screen. I need a keyboard and a full size screen. That was an issue when I was working and they talked about switching people to tablets and small, light weight laptops (that's another issue altogether). Thanks, again for your (and Michael's) musings. I enjoy your site!
Thank you very much! We're having a ball writing it. You have the right attitude, I think. With social media, especially, I think the answer is to only interact on your desktop, not on your phone.
Dear Brent: I'm in the middle of a book, titled "The Flickering MInd". It was written by Todd Oppenheimer and published in 2003. The subtitle of the book was "Saving Education from the False Promise of Technology" Shortly before reading that book, I read yet another book titled, "Screen Schooled: Two Veteran Teachers Expose How Technology Overuse Is Making Our Kids Dumber". I'm here to tell you as a long term teacher these 2 books doth speaketh the truth. I teach here in the Silicon Valley and I see firsthand everyday I'm in the classroom the effect abundant technology has on the ability of my students to imagine, think creativity, or just daydream. The second book was published in 2018, and it shows how further down the line the "advancement" of technology has taken us. In my lab classes, many of my students showed a preference for using the old fashioned method learning, textbooks, paper, and pen/pencil. I daresay that, if I was to present a workshop on these two books where I live and work, I would probably be charged with blasphemy and labeled a heretic. Oh well. As for me, I mostly watch YouTube now for music videos. I've also reached technological overload. Take care and stay safe.
Very very interesting! Yes, I also have noticed that if you question the prevailing paradigm at all, there is a vicious pushback. Even the notion that this is changing our brains -- which is OBVIOUSLY is -- is often met with denials. That said, some change is inevitable, of course. I just wish it had been done in such a way that we could incorporate and adjust to the changes more slowly. I suppose human nature (and capitalism) is the enemy here. P.S. You sound like a great teacher!
Perfect. It's so nuts because I once loved Twitter for advocacy and awareness. But social media is now an example of what I avoid. I hope we all go back to having our own blogs where we follow/comment on each other's in a way to keep chosen community. BTW, grew up in and spent the last of the pandemic back in Seattle and was shocked at the violence.
Isn't it strange? I too yearn for the early days of new media, even though I was frustrated by how "toxic" it could get at the time. What I didn't know!
What do you mean by violence in Seattle? We have definitely noticed the city has changed a lot in the last five years since we left...
When walking around Seattle (Green Lake, downtown, etc., during daylight, populated hours), we've been verbally and physically assaulted, had items thrown at us and chased - for no known reason. People have been shot on our corner. Multiple buildings around us set on fire (including at the base of our building). It's all appeared homeless related - openly violent homeless individuals, which is a completely different experience.
We spent 3 months near the Space Needle, 6 months in the U District, 7 months in Fremont - all in newish apartments. And before our long-term travel overseas, we were in Ballard (on a sailboat, before it was like this). But we are on foot or bike everywhere we go, so maybe we're just more exposed. It just seems so different, our beloved Seattle. So now in a mountain town for a bit, then back overseas. =)
Oh man! I'm so sorry. We've noticed things for sure, but we haven't lived there, just visited. I had no idea!
I just feel sorry for - like with social media - the reality that we as humans are adapting to worse. Many in Seattle are just used to it now and might not even be able to voice it. But there IS better, just as you realized. It's pretty wild being able to leave our doors unlocked again and walk anywhere, feeling physically much safer. We feel safe like this in Europe, too.
And we hope this "worse" state is just a passing phase in the States. 🫣
I try to check out every once in a while and now that USA elections are pretty much sorted it will be much easier as my world is not going to crash due to idiots in charge. I'm happy with where my country is and where it's going. Sigh. Anyhow, your piece really reminded me that it is great to escape from the everyday impact from bad social media. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, sanctimonious or not! Love you guys, travel safe, and keep on writing, for all our sanities.
haha, thanks, Michael. Yes, I'm feeling vaguely optimistic too, for the first time in a loooooong time. Partly social media, but also partly better news!
Amen, Brent. I never was much of one for Twitter. I have been stunned by how it has silenced conversation about vital topics, and led us into irrationality. I've dramatically curtailed Facebook, and it's still not enough. More time reading has been a wonderful rescue from the lotus eating that is social media. You don't sound sanctimonious. You sound like an adult.
haha thank you! Means a lot coming from you. Yours in staying focused, Brent
It would be so lovely to read all about the phones/plans you've used along the way. For instance, did you both have Google phones at one point, or always different carriers? Did Google say you could keep your plan as long as you didn't use the phone for international phone calls (just data)? I still have my Google Fi but I think I'm only able to keep it because I've never really made international phone calls during my extended time abroad, I mostly use wifi at Airbnbs, and I only used the rare data while out and about (less than 2 GB/mo), but I'm not totally sure and I'm afraid to ask Google. =)
Yeah, we always both had Google Fi, for first four years of travel. We usually had the same Android phones, but later, different ones too. And one by one, our Google Fi friends saw their plans cut off -- and then we did too. Even being back in the U.S. regularly didn't make any difference, and they make NO exceptions once they cut you off. But honestly, I'm glad we made the switch (to Flexiroam and Google Voice, which are both very very cheap). We've had a few problems with Flexiroam in a few countries, but then we occasionally problems with Google Fi too (and I HATED Google Fi's customer service).
Google Voice is mostly free, 1 cents a minute for some international calls, free for most others. We were able to easily port our existing numbers. The only difference is we use a different app on the phone.
Flexiroam, if you buy your data when they have 80% and 70% off sales, is usually about $4-$6 a gig, which is also cheaper than Google Fi. There is no monthly fee, so you JUST pay for data -- and with Google Fi, for calls.
We're spending about $20-$30 a month each now (if that), as opposed to $50-$70 before.
Thank you!!
We actually haven't used that many plans and there are soooooo many out there! I had a Google phone, but Brent did not and we both got treated the same way. And it wasn't the phone service they were going to cut off, but using data. So that forced us to switch and we still have Google voice today.
I am so grateful for the details! Thank you, both! 🙏🏼
Excellent article, and I don't think you sound sanctimonious at all. I rarely check my phone when out, but I do probably spend too much time on SM at home. Gonna do it less! Hopefully 😂
Alison
Thank you! Appreciate the kind words.
Very instructive! Thanks for reporting on your inadvertent experiment. Sounds like we all need to learn to emulate your results.
Travelling all the time sounds fun, too, if a bit exhausting. Kudos on your choices! Cheers!
Thanks! But honestly, our life is less stressful now than when we owned a house in Seattle. Much simpler! It helps that we're slow travelers, staying in most places 1-3 months. Glad to have you along!
I’m actually quite envious of your life travelling at your own pace. I traveled all over the US and some parts of Europe with my show dogs. Loved it. I always scheduled in an extra day of two to explore the area. But I could never get to know a place as you guys do.
I can imagine life in Seattle is less than peaceful these days. I do love that whole area. It was quite some, umm, decades ago, though! I lived in Renton, long before people had computers on their desktops.
I think sometimes of trying to move to some places abroad, especially in Europe, where my mediocre retirement would go farther. If I ever manage it, perhaps you’ll visit as you pass through!
In all seriousness, that really is the key: things are much cheaper overseas, even in Western Europe, but definitely in Eastern and Central Europe (and also Asia, etc.). If you ever do it, we'll be here!