Gavin de Becker, author of The Gift of Fear, reminds us why we should always listen to our gut when it's talking to us like that ... when our primitive self is trying to protect us.
A friend worked with a serial killer. Every single day. His strangeness was evident. But nobody knew what he did until years later. I shiver.
Wonderful timing. Seriously, tomorrow I'm going solo backpacking down where Deliverance was filmed. Now I'm thinking I need a Burt Reynolds type to partner with.
Brings back a similar memory from 1971. I hitchhiked from Cincinnati to Northern Indiana along US 27 with a female friend also heading home from university. I chose the backseat and she was in the front. He left the main road for a “shortcut.” My antennas were vibrating. We came to a somewhat busy crossroads and I whispered to her to bail out. Which we did.
You are going to HAVE to listen to this Moth story. It is equally is chilling -- a similar story about a hitchhiker who escaped serial killer John Wayne Gacy and only realized it later. It has stayed with me ever since I heard it. https://themoth.org/stories/a-very-dangerous-person
This is a travel story that will stay with me for a long time. As a naive college student several decades ago, I used to hitchhike with my roommate around campus, just because we were too tired or tipsy to walk home. It was always men - looked like college students - who stopped for us. It was not until much later that I reflected on what a bad idea it was for us to hitchhike. And that in the many times we did it, nothing bad happened to us.
The drivers were all courteous, didn't ask personal questions like our names or where we lived. We always directed them to drop us off near our residence, but never right at it. My parents never lectured me about the dangers of hitchhiking, especially for young women. But I had such a discussion about that with my son and my daughter when they reached the teenage years.
I rarely see hitchhikers now, and I'm guessing it's because people got wise to the dangers, both as riders and as drivers. And the fact that everyone has a cellphone and if they really need a ride, they can call a friend or family member and ask for help.
Funny you point that out about the lack of hitchhikers now, but you're right. I can't recall the last time I saw one.
And when I did, I always felt so ambivalent. On one hand, I wanted to pay back the favor I received from all of those folks in Australia. OTOH, picking up strangers can be dangerous for the driver too.
One approach if you're really concerned about someone who's trying to hitch a ride is to ask if you can phone someone they know or police, if they really need help getting somewhere.
I'm taking a long road trip starting tomorrow that will take me on some interstates but also on some rural highways through 3 states. I will be on the lookout for hitchhikers, but certainly not stopping for any. Plus, I'm traveling with my husband, not alone. He would never dream of stopping to pick up a stranger.
I strongly believe in trusting your instincts. I recall hitch-hiking at age 19, seeing a car start to pull in and feeling really strongly that I didn't want to get in, even though that car appeared no different from any other - but at that age I hadn't learned to follow that gut feel. Thankfully I was able to fight off the passenger in that car who followed me out and around some ruins, and then forced me to the ground in what would have been a rape had I not somehow jumped out from under him when he loosened his grip in a reaction to my thrusting my fingers towards his eyes...
There’s no reaction sufficient enough to say how sorry I am that happened to you. We had a serial rapist on our college campus one year, which is when I first came to understand what a privilege being a 6’1” is in this world.
In the early 70s my partner was at a political event in someone's home. He got a ride home with a guy he had just met. This guy stopped on the way at a large dorm. He said that he would be back. He went to the double doors, rattled them and spoke briefly with a woman inside. She would not let him in. He argued for a few minutes. More young women came to the door. Still, he was unable to gain entry.
The guy turned his back to the door, squatted, and shit on the doormat.
My partner was shaken, but didn't leave the car. Did I mention that the car was a Beetle?
Within days there was a plea to the public for assistance with two murders at a local lake. There was a description of the car, and the suspect. My partner said " I know who it is but I didn't get his name".
The identified victims of Milat are not thought to be all the cases , & some believe he definitely was prowling other areas.
I had a similar experience when i was 19 , a bloke attacked my friend & I with a wheel brace , long story, definitely intending to rape & kill . I fought that turd hard , saved our lives , then got shit on by her & her family (& she was the one who insisted we hitch hike that night , we already had a lift we just needed to wait 20 minutes)
Yup. I mentioned that. And then this morning, I saw a three-month old article from The Guardian saying the Australian parliament was going to hold inquiries into that very topic.
Yikes! That's so scary! It's so important for follow your gut feelings.
Years ago (1985 or so), I was driving from Denver to Aspen with a friend of friends, both women. It was early in the day. We broke down along the way on the side of the road. People stopped and we just asked them to call the rental car company and have them send a tow truck. We did this several times, no tow truck appeared. It was getting later and we decided we'd need to abandon the car and get a ride. A guy stopped and asked something like "need a ride?" The way he said it made me say "no thanks! Someone's coming." Just that gut feeling... Anyway, the next offer came from a family and we stuffed ourselves in their car and got a ride to our friends. And I'm here to tell that story,
That’s such a terrifying memory! It brings back my own from a hitchhiking experience in the Pacific Northwest in the mid-‘70s. I was hitching solo because I was fearless in those young days and nearly got into some bad trouble on a lonely road.
The gift of fear...
Thank goodness you were paying attention.
Gavin de Becker, author of The Gift of Fear, reminds us why we should always listen to our gut when it's talking to us like that ... when our primitive self is trying to protect us.
A friend worked with a serial killer. Every single day. His strangeness was evident. But nobody knew what he did until years later. I shiver.
Whoa, that must’ve been deeply unsettling for them.
"Shaken" is too mild, Michael. I'm spooked and it didn't even happen to me!
Woah, that’s a spooky story!
Wonderful timing. Seriously, tomorrow I'm going solo backpacking down where Deliverance was filmed. Now I'm thinking I need a Burt Reynolds type to partner with.
Er, um, sorry about that? The good news is that sociologists say that the number of serial killers have plummeted since the 90s!
Plummeted? I feel better. Now I just have to worry about hillbillies out for a good time. 🤣
LOL
Brings back a similar memory from 1971. I hitchhiked from Cincinnati to Northern Indiana along US 27 with a female friend also heading home from university. I chose the backseat and she was in the front. He left the main road for a “shortcut.” My antennas were vibrating. We came to a somewhat busy crossroads and I whispered to her to bail out. Which we did.
That's definitely the time to get out.
You are going to HAVE to listen to this Moth story. It is equally is chilling -- a similar story about a hitchhiker who escaped serial killer John Wayne Gacy and only realized it later. It has stayed with me ever since I heard it. https://themoth.org/stories/a-very-dangerous-person
Oh, geez, I’m not sure I’m for that! Let me have a drink first..
This is a travel story that will stay with me for a long time. As a naive college student several decades ago, I used to hitchhike with my roommate around campus, just because we were too tired or tipsy to walk home. It was always men - looked like college students - who stopped for us. It was not until much later that I reflected on what a bad idea it was for us to hitchhike. And that in the many times we did it, nothing bad happened to us.
The drivers were all courteous, didn't ask personal questions like our names or where we lived. We always directed them to drop us off near our residence, but never right at it. My parents never lectured me about the dangers of hitchhiking, especially for young women. But I had such a discussion about that with my son and my daughter when they reached the teenage years.
I rarely see hitchhikers now, and I'm guessing it's because people got wise to the dangers, both as riders and as drivers. And the fact that everyone has a cellphone and if they really need a ride, they can call a friend or family member and ask for help.
Funny you point that out about the lack of hitchhikers now, but you're right. I can't recall the last time I saw one.
And when I did, I always felt so ambivalent. On one hand, I wanted to pay back the favor I received from all of those folks in Australia. OTOH, picking up strangers can be dangerous for the driver too.
One approach if you're really concerned about someone who's trying to hitch a ride is to ask if you can phone someone they know or police, if they really need help getting somewhere.
I'm taking a long road trip starting tomorrow that will take me on some interstates but also on some rural highways through 3 states. I will be on the lookout for hitchhikers, but certainly not stopping for any. Plus, I'm traveling with my husband, not alone. He would never dream of stopping to pick up a stranger.
If someone looked in distress, I'd like to think I would at least do something for them!
I strongly believe in trusting your instincts. I recall hitch-hiking at age 19, seeing a car start to pull in and feeling really strongly that I didn't want to get in, even though that car appeared no different from any other - but at that age I hadn't learned to follow that gut feel. Thankfully I was able to fight off the passenger in that car who followed me out and around some ruins, and then forced me to the ground in what would have been a rape had I not somehow jumped out from under him when he loosened his grip in a reaction to my thrusting my fingers towards his eyes...
There’s no reaction sufficient enough to say how sorry I am that happened to you. We had a serial rapist on our college campus one year, which is when I first came to understand what a privilege being a 6’1” is in this world.
In the early 70s my partner was at a political event in someone's home. He got a ride home with a guy he had just met. This guy stopped on the way at a large dorm. He said that he would be back. He went to the double doors, rattled them and spoke briefly with a woman inside. She would not let him in. He argued for a few minutes. More young women came to the door. Still, he was unable to gain entry.
The guy turned his back to the door, squatted, and shit on the doormat.
My partner was shaken, but didn't leave the car. Did I mention that the car was a Beetle?
Within days there was a plea to the public for assistance with two murders at a local lake. There was a description of the car, and the suspect. My partner said " I know who it is but I didn't get his name".
That's my Ted Bundy story.
WHOA
The identified victims of Milat are not thought to be all the cases , & some believe he definitely was prowling other areas.
I had a similar experience when i was 19 , a bloke attacked my friend & I with a wheel brace , long story, definitely intending to rape & kill . I fought that turd hard , saved our lives , then got shit on by her & her family (& she was the one who insisted we hitch hike that night , we already had a lift we just needed to wait 20 minutes)
MEH .
Yup. I mentioned that. And then this morning, I saw a three-month old article from The Guardian saying the Australian parliament was going to hold inquiries into that very topic.
And I’m very sorry that happened to you.
I am very happy it did not happen to you .
Thank you very much. And I’m just so very very sorry it happened to anyone.
Yikes! That's so scary! It's so important for follow your gut feelings.
Years ago (1985 or so), I was driving from Denver to Aspen with a friend of friends, both women. It was early in the day. We broke down along the way on the side of the road. People stopped and we just asked them to call the rental car company and have them send a tow truck. We did this several times, no tow truck appeared. It was getting later and we decided we'd need to abandon the car and get a ride. A guy stopped and asked something like "need a ride?" The way he said it made me say "no thanks! Someone's coming." Just that gut feeling... Anyway, the next offer came from a family and we stuffed ourselves in their car and got a ride to our friends. And I'm here to tell that story,
I’m glad that family came along!
always trust your gut!! it knows...
I'm glad I did.
That’s such a terrifying memory! It brings back my own from a hitchhiking experience in the Pacific Northwest in the mid-‘70s. I was hitching solo because I was fearless in those young days and nearly got into some bad trouble on a lonely road.
Wow, you are brave!
Chilling story. Glad you got out so soon and trusted your gut, sometimes your best characteristic while traveling.
Absolutely!
John owes you a beer every year for the rest of his life and I hope he knows it.
Maybe, maybe not. Hopefully, not, but I’ll never know…