We Went to Three Asian Disney Parks. Two Were "Meh," But One Was Amazing.
The less "Disney" the park, the better it was.
A few years ago, I wrote how I was “done” with Disney.
I’d had it with the crazy-high prices and insane crowds, but I was also upset by a major change in Disney’s philosophy: they were openly embracing an idea pioneered by competing parks but that they had initially resisted — namely, that rich people should be able to pay to avoid the lines at attractions, thereby making the insane lines even more miserable for everyone else.
Even so, Michael and I recently spent seven months in Asia, and over that time we visited three Disney parks: Hong Kong Disneyland and the two parks at the Tokyo Disney Resort, Tokyo Disneyland and Tokyo DisneySea.
It’s partly that these parks are considerably cheaper than the ones in America — at least 40% cheaper, by my estimate.
Also, I haunted the “crowd predictor” calendars to find days when attendance at the parks was expected to be very light. There’s a Universal Studios park in Osaka, Japan, but there were no “less-crowded” days in the months we were there, so I opted not to go at all.
What can I say? I hate crowds.
That being said, I did want to see what Disney was like outside of America. I’d heard that all these parks had been “adapted” to local tastes — especially DisneySea — and I wanted to see exactly what this meant.
So how did the three parks stack up?
Here’s what I thought of each park, from worst to best:
Tokyo Disneyland
Sometimes I think there are two kinds of people in the world: normal people who see Disney the way it really is, and Disney People who experience these amusement parks through some kind of weird “Disney Goggles.”
People who wear Disney Goggles don’t see the very obvious problems the rest of us see — and these problems were especially bad at Tokyo Disneyland.
My biggest complaint was, yes, the insane crowds. If this was a “low-crowd” day, I can’t imagine what it must be like on a “very crowded” day. Even on these days, the lines at the premium rides quickly reached two-plus hours (or you could buy “Premier Access” passes, which are available through the park app at $10–15 per person per ride).
Regarding the attractions, the older ones — like Pirates of the Caribbean, The Jungle Cruise, and Peter Pan’s Flight — are badly in need of updating, and are interesting mostly for reasons of nostalgia. And I found the newer ones, like Pooh’s Hunny Hunt, to be state-of-the-art but fairly boring.
And not only is the park not especially “Japanese,” it actually leans into Disney’s “Americana” aspect — for example, still including a friendly pass through “Indian country” on the Disneyland Railroad.
Alas, the Haunted Mansion, the attraction I most wanted to ride — and the one that is apparently most unique to Tokyo Disneyland — was closed for repairs.
But here's one fun fact: Tokyo Disneyland is home to the world's last remaining Splash Mountain, since this attraction has been converted into a less-than-enthusiastically-received ride called Tiana’s Bayou Adventure at other parks.
One fascinating phenomenon here that may or may not be unique to Tokyo Disneyland: the park now attracts a large contingent of “influencers” and/or Disney cosplayers who come to the park in full “Disney” regalia — and apparently spend much of their day posing for pictures and videos, which they post on social media.
The park even includes official “Photo Spots” — scenic viewpoints, temporary displays, or character meet-ups — that draw long lines of eager selfie-takers.
Weirdly, nowhere in Tokyo Disneyland can you find Dole Whip — that popular pineapple soft serve available only in Disney parks.
I know I said I wanted a more “local” Disney experience, but are you kidding me? Dole Whip may be the single most objectively great thing about the Disney parks, even despite its insanely inflated price.
The truth is, Michael and I were so disappointed by our visit to Tokyo Disneyland that we considered bailing on our visit to the area’s sister park, DisneySea, the following day.
My Non-Disney-Goggle Rating: D
Hong Kong Disneyland
This is the world’s smallest Disney park, both in terms of area and capacity.
