Thank you for writing this post and continuing to raise the importance of marriage equality. I'm very concerned that we will lose our marriage rights. Straight people have told me that they don't think that will happen but it's so easy for them to say that. They never had to fight for the right to use the words "husband" or "wife" the same way we have. People need to see the faces of those this issue affects. We are real people who potentially could lose so many rights and benefits. And to have your marriage dissolved in an instant due to political and religious motivations? It's horrifying. We are real people with love that is real and marital commitments that are real. So again, thank you for raising this issue.
Yeah, it's incredibly frustrating to hear "it probably won't happen." I mean look at all of the insane things happening. US citizens that are children and have cancer are being deported! After what happened with Roe, it's very clear Republicans are great at playing the long game and while repealing of same-sex marriage seems unlikely right now, it could be very different ten years from now.
Ah, Michael, all I can say is I love your heart. I remember when gay marriage was being discussed, and I honestly never thought it would happen. I was thrilled when it became law, but even then I had my doubts. I waited for the 'loopholes', which, given the climate for gay anything, seemed to be inevitable. And there were some attempts, to be sure, but your marriage to the man you love is sacrosanct. It's binding, no matter who says otherwise.
It's a clear minority now who would object to two people in love wanting to commit to each other. We can't let them have any more power.
Thank you so much, Ramona. What a lovely thing to hear! As for it being a clear minority, I hope so. It's so hard to trust America with anything these days, and I intend to fight for all of our rights in the ways I can.
Locking arms with you to “make it happen”. I’m thankful that you’re able to “read the room” to stay safe and I’ll continue working for a future in which that’s unnecessary.
I don't understand why some people see rights as a limited goods and feel threatened when rights are extended to others; as though it diminishes theirs.
"He is my husband," are words of power indeed and they're not any less powerful when same-sex couples use them as well. It just makes the world more just.
That is a question that has puzzled me my entire life. Same-sex marriage always confused me. There's a limited number of marriages? My being married somehow changes your marriage?
This fills me with such sadness, fear and anxiety. My marriage to Bill is such a foundation of who we are, to each other and the world. I don’t know that I could survive the loss of the efficacy of those particular magical words.
I started to worry about this when they overturned Roe - your fears, and mine - are well founded and one of the reasons I continue to speak out, protest, and vote!
I remember when Obergefell v. Hodges passed, and polling quickly shifted — public support for gay marriage jumped by nearly ten percent almost overnight. I'm reading Karen Stenner’s The Authoritarian Dynamic right now, and I'm struck again by how many people believe certain things are “wrong” simply because they're illegal or because authority figures say they're bad. My social circle and the usual inhabitants of my neighborhood are so far from this archetype that I sometimes forget people like this exist. But they’re here — and they find the demands of liberal democracy surprisingly difficult to bear.
I'm hoping the Supreme Court still functions as a guardrail. It’s still mostly the same individuals who wrote Bostock v. Clayton County (making employment discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity illegal). The executive branch seems to be bleeding public support, but that seems driven more by economic policy than by any deeper concern for individual rights or the rule of law.
Honestly, I'm less worried about us (as gay men with options) than I am about the trans folk I know. A lot of them aren’t handling things all that well back in the U.S. right now, and I don't entirely know what to do about it.
Agree completely about transpeople and have written about that on my different social media platforms. I have had young trans folks write me about how to get out of the US. So I do get how awful it already is for them, and likely to get worse.
Loved the Norwegian doctor’s response to your words of power and the Turkish doctors’ acceptance of your relationship through their actions.
As you also mention, the threats to your status in America, and in other democracies comes not only from powerful conservative politicians. Those who choose not to vote and to stand up for human rights are complicit enablers.
Too many people think “it’s not about me so why should I care.”
I can’t think of a more selfish excuse. Our democracies only exist thanks to people who gave much more than a vote to protect our rights to choose.
As a straight, white, Western male, I am grateful that you are able to use the same words of power that I can!
Thank you, Paul! I also worry a great deal about how many people don't think really bad things can come to pass. I think that explains a great deal about how America is in the place it is today.
Canada’s national election is tomorrow. Record numbers of people have voted in advance, but we are also at a crossroads where those who sit at home could decide our fate.
I simply don’t understand why such a majority of people in the world believe they know what’s best for people who think differently. It’s particularly strange in the US. I hope and pray that good sense will prevail.
This is an issue you need to keep writing about (sorry!). I don't think young women realized that they could lose their right to an abortion (or what it might mean if they did). In the same way, ALL of us need to understand that if LGBTQ rights are taken away -- the rights of all of us are compromised.
Oh, Michael. I’m saddened by the unthinkable losses that have already happened as you mentioned and terrified of the unthinkable losses like marriage rights the regime is pushing for.
It’s wild to me that Obergefell was only in 2015. And at the same time, I remember clearly the fear and ugliness when I wrote an opinion column for the newspaper I was a staff writer for supporting marriage rights in the early 2000s. What I’m saying is the swings in short periods are real.
What I’m saying is may the magic words never lose their power. And I’m so glad they’ve made magic for you and Brent. What I’m saying is we must all fight those trying to take their power away. What I’m saying is thank you for writing this.
Thank you for writing this post and continuing to raise the importance of marriage equality. I'm very concerned that we will lose our marriage rights. Straight people have told me that they don't think that will happen but it's so easy for them to say that. They never had to fight for the right to use the words "husband" or "wife" the same way we have. People need to see the faces of those this issue affects. We are real people who potentially could lose so many rights and benefits. And to have your marriage dissolved in an instant due to political and religious motivations? It's horrifying. We are real people with love that is real and marital commitments that are real. So again, thank you for raising this issue.
Yeah, it's incredibly frustrating to hear "it probably won't happen." I mean look at all of the insane things happening. US citizens that are children and have cancer are being deported! After what happened with Roe, it's very clear Republicans are great at playing the long game and while repealing of same-sex marriage seems unlikely right now, it could be very different ten years from now.
Ah, Michael, all I can say is I love your heart. I remember when gay marriage was being discussed, and I honestly never thought it would happen. I was thrilled when it became law, but even then I had my doubts. I waited for the 'loopholes', which, given the climate for gay anything, seemed to be inevitable. And there were some attempts, to be sure, but your marriage to the man you love is sacrosanct. It's binding, no matter who says otherwise.
It's a clear minority now who would object to two people in love wanting to commit to each other. We can't let them have any more power.
Thank you so much, Ramona. What a lovely thing to hear! As for it being a clear minority, I hope so. It's so hard to trust America with anything these days, and I intend to fight for all of our rights in the ways I can.
Locking arms with you to “make it happen”. I’m thankful that you’re able to “read the room” to stay safe and I’ll continue working for a future in which that’s unnecessary.
Thanks, El.
I don't understand why some people see rights as a limited goods and feel threatened when rights are extended to others; as though it diminishes theirs.
"He is my husband," are words of power indeed and they're not any less powerful when same-sex couples use them as well. It just makes the world more just.
That is a question that has puzzled me my entire life. Same-sex marriage always confused me. There's a limited number of marriages? My being married somehow changes your marriage?
The lack of logic can be astounding.
This fills me with such sadness, fear and anxiety. My marriage to Bill is such a foundation of who we are, to each other and the world. I don’t know that I could survive the loss of the efficacy of those particular magical words.
It would be devastating and is exactly why I feel like we have to start warning about it happening now.
Great article. Trump is not the real problem, it’s the half of America that supports him that we need to worry about.
And the portion that simply isn't paying any attention. (And thanks!)
Really well said. Protect the rights of all Americans. It can be reversed and we must not be complacent.
Thank you!
I started to worry about this when they overturned Roe - your fears, and mine - are well founded and one of the reasons I continue to speak out, protest, and vote!
Me too. And thanks for continuing to speak out. We all have to do what we can.
I remember when Obergefell v. Hodges passed, and polling quickly shifted — public support for gay marriage jumped by nearly ten percent almost overnight. I'm reading Karen Stenner’s The Authoritarian Dynamic right now, and I'm struck again by how many people believe certain things are “wrong” simply because they're illegal or because authority figures say they're bad. My social circle and the usual inhabitants of my neighborhood are so far from this archetype that I sometimes forget people like this exist. But they’re here — and they find the demands of liberal democracy surprisingly difficult to bear.
I'm hoping the Supreme Court still functions as a guardrail. It’s still mostly the same individuals who wrote Bostock v. Clayton County (making employment discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity illegal). The executive branch seems to be bleeding public support, but that seems driven more by economic policy than by any deeper concern for individual rights or the rule of law.
Honestly, I'm less worried about us (as gay men with options) than I am about the trans folk I know. A lot of them aren’t handling things all that well back in the U.S. right now, and I don't entirely know what to do about it.
Agree completely about transpeople and have written about that on my different social media platforms. I have had young trans folks write me about how to get out of the US. So I do get how awful it already is for them, and likely to get worse.
The only newsletter I read every. single. time.
Thank you for raising awareness on this matter! I hope it will inspire your fellow citizens and all of us worldwide. Thank you Brent and Michael! ❤️
Thank YOU, Milene, both for the kind words and your support. Both are very much appreciated.
Great article, Michael. Thank you!
Loved the Norwegian doctor’s response to your words of power and the Turkish doctors’ acceptance of your relationship through their actions.
As you also mention, the threats to your status in America, and in other democracies comes not only from powerful conservative politicians. Those who choose not to vote and to stand up for human rights are complicit enablers.
Too many people think “it’s not about me so why should I care.”
I can’t think of a more selfish excuse. Our democracies only exist thanks to people who gave much more than a vote to protect our rights to choose.
As a straight, white, Western male, I am grateful that you are able to use the same words of power that I can!
Thank you, Paul! I also worry a great deal about how many people don't think really bad things can come to pass. I think that explains a great deal about how America is in the place it is today.
Canada’s national election is tomorrow. Record numbers of people have voted in advance, but we are also at a crossroads where those who sit at home could decide our fate.
I simply don’t understand why such a majority of people in the world believe they know what’s best for people who think differently. It’s particularly strange in the US. I hope and pray that good sense will prevail.
So do I!
Beautifully written. I love how pointed your remarks are about many heterosexual couples taking for granted how ingrained their rights are.
My husband doesn’t think marriage rights will be overturned. Me? I’m not convinced.
Thanks, Joe. I am...optimistic it won't happen, but 100% feel we can't be complacent about it not being overturned.
Thank you for your insight
I’m happy for you and Brent
Bless your life
I hope it may be normal here one day but it’s not looking good yet
Dang
Where’s that Winnie the Pooh and Piglet comic ?
Best wishes friend
Happy life to you ❤️
I've been seeing that Winnie the Pooh cartoon everywhere! And thank you!
Anytime
Stay safe
This is an issue you need to keep writing about (sorry!). I don't think young women realized that they could lose their right to an abortion (or what it might mean if they did). In the same way, ALL of us need to understand that if LGBTQ rights are taken away -- the rights of all of us are compromised.
Just like all of our rights have been taken away by loss of reproductive rights. 😔 And we'll keep writing!
Oh, Michael. I’m saddened by the unthinkable losses that have already happened as you mentioned and terrified of the unthinkable losses like marriage rights the regime is pushing for.
It’s wild to me that Obergefell was only in 2015. And at the same time, I remember clearly the fear and ugliness when I wrote an opinion column for the newspaper I was a staff writer for supporting marriage rights in the early 2000s. What I’m saying is the swings in short periods are real.
What I’m saying is may the magic words never lose their power. And I’m so glad they’ve made magic for you and Brent. What I’m saying is we must all fight those trying to take their power away. What I’m saying is thank you for writing this.
Thanks and thanks for reading this, Holly. I recall the piece you wrote about that opinion column!
And the fight isn't only for these magic words but all magic words that should apply to all of us.
💜 Important stories and thoughtful points.
(And I hope they dished out good care up in Tromsø…)
The care in Tromso was fantastic!