I enjoy your writing so much. . . As Ricki Lee Jones sings, “You never know when you’re making a memory.” Your astonishment at deepening a relationship at an experiential level cemented yours. For him, it was just another hike. Such is life.
And, yes. I had friends on the archeological dig at Ozette. A glorious part of the country. I have never forgotten my visit there.
This lifted my heart and left me feeling a little melancholic. I said to Bill that it’s hard to think that something that could be so meaningful to one person eventually fails to register for the other. In the end, as you say, I guess it doesn’t really matter as we all live in our own versions of reality no matter how close we are to others within our sphere.
And obviously I don't know the people involved, but I guess that any relationship that lasted decades and led to three kids 'worked out' on some level, even if it ended badly. Maybe another example of perception.
Bittersweet, so glad you remember it, what an adventure. Really hard to imagine him forgetting such a challenging, crazy hike. I recently found a birthday present from 45ish years ago. A friend had done a page of lovely watercolor flowers with the kind of “life quotes” that 20-somethings find inspiring. It was accompanied by a very long letter taking about the kind of future she wanted to have. Much more thoughtful than I was at 21! It was sweet and lovely, which is why I kept it so long. Having reconnected with her on Facebook, I sent her photos of the papers, she had no recollection and seemed to think they were silly. Made me wonder what other pieces of our friendship she’d forgotten.
Whenever I reference something from my childhood when talking to my sisters, one or both will say “that never happened!” I can never quite decide if I’m delusional, they’re forgetful, or as you say, we were just on different paths.
That's a great story. Memory is such a weird thing - maybe Danny's life took different emotional turns and certain memories faded to the background. I often wear jewelry Paul got me, and I remember where each one came from (e.g., pearls from Malaysia) and I'm always surprised that he doesn't remember each one as I do. Yes, same paths, but different paths.
This is a wonderful memory, and inspires me to hike more! I could feel the sense of peace you had in nature with a good friend, especially after the swim and getting to sleep. It is shocking he doesn't remember (especially after recounting) but I know after having kids my brain was robbed of space and some precious memories got pushed out. Thanks for this one ☺️
Loved this. Wish he'd remembered it though... I have friends who remember many experiences and parties from high school. I can't remember any that they talk about, and I was in the middle of many these shared times. I don't feel sad about not remembering mine, but for some reason Danny not remembering yours made me sad. Great read.
When I look at all the inside jokes in my high-school yearbook, I wonder how many people still remember what they all referred to. I still recall most of them, but a couple baffle me.
And my old diaries are full of people I referred to by a single name, obviously sure that future me would always know who that was. Um ... not so much!
I wonder if you've always remembered this story so well because you're a writer, and it really did have all the elements of story ... a goal, a quest, a resolution.
Love the bittersweet tone of this tale. So true in life. In every relationship there are actually two different relationships going on.... the one that lives in your own head and the one that lives in the other person's head. Anyone who has ever gone to couples therapy will likely recognise this 😂
I really enjoyed this article…..when my children were young we went camping all the time! My husband and younger daughter loved it and my oldest daughter and I hated it! We did climb Mt Monadock in New Hampshire and the view was worth the climb! I would not do it again….i’m sorry Danny didn’t remember that hike and the memorial…..but you will remember it and that’s what counts.
I enjoyed this thoroughly. I can understand remembering events differently or having alternate views on their significance, but forgetting such a fun yet fruitless adventure as the one you describe is really puzzling. Perhaps your friend was so traumatized by his breakup that he blocked it out.
This is a great story. I had a similar experience. Several years ago I got roaring drunk at a wedding and drunkenly insulted three of my friends. They took it in good humour and it became a funny anecdote the four of us used to tell people a lot. Recently a mutual friend asked me to recount the tale to her new partner and to my surprise I couldn’t remember any of the details including what the insults had been, which had previously been the hilarious punchline. I can remember gleefully telling the story over and over again but now, over 10 years later, I simply cannot remember what the story is. It’s just gone!! My theory, similar to another commenter, is that it is child induced sleep deprivation. Having children is also the reason why I don’t drink to excess or behave badly at weddings any more….
Great story! My husband and I call this “revisionist history”. A couple we traveled with when our kids were young remember the time OUR child screamed the whole night, while we remember that same event as THEIR child screaming the whole night…Oy…
I enjoy your writing so much. . . As Ricki Lee Jones sings, “You never know when you’re making a memory.” Your astonishment at deepening a relationship at an experiential level cemented yours. For him, it was just another hike. Such is life.
And, yes. I had friends on the archeological dig at Ozette. A glorious part of the country. I have never forgotten my visit there.
I hate to even suggest this, but..is it possible Danny may have some mild cognitive impairment?
This lifted my heart and left me feeling a little melancholic. I said to Bill that it’s hard to think that something that could be so meaningful to one person eventually fails to register for the other. In the end, as you say, I guess it doesn’t really matter as we all live in our own versions of reality no matter how close we are to others within our sphere.
That's a little sad, but a beautiful story.
And obviously I don't know the people involved, but I guess that any relationship that lasted decades and led to three kids 'worked out' on some level, even if it ended badly. Maybe another example of perception.
Bittersweet, so glad you remember it, what an adventure. Really hard to imagine him forgetting such a challenging, crazy hike. I recently found a birthday present from 45ish years ago. A friend had done a page of lovely watercolor flowers with the kind of “life quotes” that 20-somethings find inspiring. It was accompanied by a very long letter taking about the kind of future she wanted to have. Much more thoughtful than I was at 21! It was sweet and lovely, which is why I kept it so long. Having reconnected with her on Facebook, I sent her photos of the papers, she had no recollection and seemed to think they were silly. Made me wonder what other pieces of our friendship she’d forgotten.
Whenever I reference something from my childhood when talking to my sisters, one or both will say “that never happened!” I can never quite decide if I’m delusional, they’re forgetful, or as you say, we were just on different paths.
That's a great story. Memory is such a weird thing - maybe Danny's life took different emotional turns and certain memories faded to the background. I often wear jewelry Paul got me, and I remember where each one came from (e.g., pearls from Malaysia) and I'm always surprised that he doesn't remember each one as I do. Yes, same paths, but different paths.
This is a wonderful memory, and inspires me to hike more! I could feel the sense of peace you had in nature with a good friend, especially after the swim and getting to sleep. It is shocking he doesn't remember (especially after recounting) but I know after having kids my brain was robbed of space and some precious memories got pushed out. Thanks for this one ☺️
Loved this. Wish he'd remembered it though... I have friends who remember many experiences and parties from high school. I can't remember any that they talk about, and I was in the middle of many these shared times. I don't feel sad about not remembering mine, but for some reason Danny not remembering yours made me sad. Great read.
When I look at all the inside jokes in my high-school yearbook, I wonder how many people still remember what they all referred to. I still recall most of them, but a couple baffle me.
And my old diaries are full of people I referred to by a single name, obviously sure that future me would always know who that was. Um ... not so much!
I wonder if you've always remembered this story so well because you're a writer, and it really did have all the elements of story ... a goal, a quest, a resolution.
Love the bittersweet tone of this tale. So true in life. In every relationship there are actually two different relationships going on.... the one that lives in your own head and the one that lives in the other person's head. Anyone who has ever gone to couples therapy will likely recognise this 😂
Interesting
I really enjoyed this article…..when my children were young we went camping all the time! My husband and younger daughter loved it and my oldest daughter and I hated it! We did climb Mt Monadock in New Hampshire and the view was worth the climb! I would not do it again….i’m sorry Danny didn’t remember that hike and the memorial…..but you will remember it and that’s what counts.
I enjoyed this thoroughly. I can understand remembering events differently or having alternate views on their significance, but forgetting such a fun yet fruitless adventure as the one you describe is really puzzling. Perhaps your friend was so traumatized by his breakup that he blocked it out.
This is a great story. I had a similar experience. Several years ago I got roaring drunk at a wedding and drunkenly insulted three of my friends. They took it in good humour and it became a funny anecdote the four of us used to tell people a lot. Recently a mutual friend asked me to recount the tale to her new partner and to my surprise I couldn’t remember any of the details including what the insults had been, which had previously been the hilarious punchline. I can remember gleefully telling the story over and over again but now, over 10 years later, I simply cannot remember what the story is. It’s just gone!! My theory, similar to another commenter, is that it is child induced sleep deprivation. Having children is also the reason why I don’t drink to excess or behave badly at weddings any more….
Great story! My husband and I call this “revisionist history”. A couple we traveled with when our kids were young remember the time OUR child screamed the whole night, while we remember that same event as THEIR child screaming the whole night…Oy…