London at Christmas: Grading the Holiday Displays!

Where in London are the best Christmas decorations?

Brent and I have always loved the holidays.

Back when we lived in Seattle, we garlanded entire rooms, baked tray after tray of cookies, and listened to enough holiday music to make even Mariah Carey scream, “All I want for Christmas is to not hear another *#*!&#^$% carol!”

For our first three years of nomading, we returned to the U.S. for Thanksgiving and stayed until just after New Year’s. That way we got to spend arguably our favorite holidays with friends and family, which helped us not feel completely untethered from the best parts of our old life.

And then Covid.

In 2020, we spent Christmas in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, and in 2021 Split, Croatia, (which was really interesting!), mostly because seeing friends and families wasn’t in the cards

This year for Christmas, we’ve ended up in London, a city weirdly entwined with this holiday. (Why? Is it all because of A Christmas Carol?)

In fact, a big part of the reason we came here — rather than somewhere warmer — was to experience an English Christmas.

I was especially excited to see London’s street displays of Christmas lights.

Did they live up to my expectations, making me as happy as George Bailey at the end of A Wonderful Life? Or did I end up feeling as sour as the Grinch?

Let’s find out by using my patented Tiny Tim Scoring System™!

The highest possible score is, of course, Five Tiny Tims:

Five Tiny Tims

CARNABY STREET

Carnaby street was celebrating 25 years of Christmas lights, putting up the best of their past displays, and I found it to be wildly colorful and fantastically imaginative.

Walking under these displays was like being Alice in Wonderland tripping on LSD-laced eggnog!

My Tiny Tim Score™ for Carnaby Street is…

Five Tiny Tims!

REGENT STREET

Regent Street is a massive shopping district in London’s West End, which went for a more classical theme called “The Spirits of Christmas.”

This display of angels is the largest light display in London, stretching down Regent Street. But they could have used some gender diversity with the all-male angels.

My Tiny Tim Score™ for Regent and St. James streets is…

Four Tiny Tims!

COVENT GARDEN

Covent Garden is part-Christmas-street-display, part-piazza, and part-Christmas-market. It’s also one of the most popular spots in London.

My Tiny Tim Score™ for Covent Garden is…

Four Tiny Tims!

BOND STREET

Not far from Regent Street and Covent Garden is Bond Street, possibly the most prestigious and expensive street in all of London.

Not surprisingly, the street decorations there were a bit more restrained than on Carnaby Street.

But honestly, it was the decorations on the storefronts like Tiffany's, Cartier, Chanel, and Dior that made this street incredibly beautiful.

My Tiny Tim Score™ for Bond Street is…

Five Tiny Tims!

TRAFALGAR SQUARE

Trafalgar Square, which is sort of London’s answer to Rockefeller Plaza in New York City, is where London’s official tree lighting ceremony takes place.

The tree is a gift from Norway as thanks for Britain’s help in WWII. The square also includes a rather garish Jewish menorah, and a lackluster Christmas market. Many Londoners thought this year’s tree looked “tattered.” At night I thought it looked like an ear of corn.

My Tiny Tim Score™ for Trafalgar Square is…

Two Tiny Tims!

PICCADILLY AND ST. JAMES STREET

Just a quick jog around the corner from Regent Street brings us to St. James Street and the nearby Piccadilly Circus.

Both Piccadilly Circus and St. James Street also had angel themes, though St. James’ were a bit more stylized.

This tree on St. James Street might have been my favorite in all of London.

My Tiny Tim Score™ for Piccadilly and St. James Street is…

Four Tiny Tims!

THE DEPARTMENT STORES

I’m cheating a bit by including department stores, especially all of them together as one category.

But London is renowned for having some of the most expensive and luxurious stores in the world. And taken together, their Christmas displays are rivaled only by New York.

HARRODS

Arguably the most famous department store in the world, Harrods embodies luxury, status, and, let’s be honest, conspicuous consumption.

That said, I’m a sucker for a grand spectacle, and Harrods excels at that.

Harrods dates back to 1849, and covers seven floors with over a million square feet of space for 330 different departments, which is 300 more than I can think of.

Fashion house Christian Dior, this year’s designer, chose a monochromatic “gingerbread” theme for the store. I thought the exterior displays worked better than the windows themselves.

The interior of Harrods, which felt claustrophobic and too slick to me. The food hall is amazing, but $300 for a turkey?!

FORTNUM & MASON

Dating back to 1707, Fortnum and Mason — called Fortnum’s by locals — is every bit as exclusive as Harrods. Their decorations were maybe even more impressive.

If you hadn’t already guessed, the front of the building is a giant Advent calendar.

Fortnum’s has two “royal warrants,” which means they are official suppliers of goods to the royal family — so very fancy schmancy, indeed.

Some of London’s other well-known department stores include Selfridges, which was too frenetic and frantically American for my tastes; Hamleys, which is London’s answer to FAO Schwarz, and which I found rather charming; and Liberty, easily my favorite thanks to its very old-fashioned feel.

Selfridges, in the top left, is a definite miss, while Hamleys and Liberty were well worth a visit.

I have mixed feelings about London’s department stores due to their encouragement of Western overconsumption. But there’s no denying they’re impressive, so my Tiny Tim Score™ is…

Four Tiny Tims!

THE FINAL VERDICT

So what’s my final verdict on London’s Christmas lights and store decorations?

Maybe it’s all of the mulled wine I’ve drunk, but my “overall” Tiny Tim™ score is…

Five Tiny Tims!

Happy holidays to everyone!

Michael Jensen is a novelist and editor. For more about Michael, visit him at MichaelJensen.com.

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