E.M. needed your friendship. I do make it a point to see him as having just a fringe of hair, a little capuchin 'do, wherever his mug shows up. His implants, Trump's orangeness – what a pair.
Wow, Brent, thanks for this honest piece. One of my best friend went bald around 24 and he was adamant about having a hair transplant. I never understood why, and told him, because the truth is he looked really good with very short hair! But he went ahead and got the transplant and thankfully it’s been a great job and he looks and feels great. But your essay helped me better understand some of his feelings on the subject. We never know what goes on in other people’s heads and hearts, do we?
I wholeheartedly agree with your female friend, while a bit disconcerting at first, I love being older and less visible. I am so much happier in my life and I’m no longer concerned with all the upkeep involved with being an attractive woman in our society - the type of angst & social pressure you experienced when first going bald.
I found that such an interesting perspective! There are certain beliefs that I just impossible to understand until you experience them yourself -- or someone very close to you does.
I started losing my hair in my Twenties, but not quickly enough that I no longer need to go to the barber! About fifteen years ago I finally decided "The Hell with It" and started going having the barber shave my head completely, because by that point it was either that or the kind of singularly unconvincing combover my Dad had most of his life.
The late Hunter S. Thompson talked about trying to cut his own hair while running for Sheriff of Woody Creek, CO—and how he ended up with a Travis Bickle trim!
While not as stigmatized as balding, I had been fighting my naturally curly hair for my entire adult life (over 25 years) until this summer. I finally grew exhausted of the maintenance and products. Popular culture had always portrayed these transitions from unruly, unattractive curly haired women into sleek haired swans. Look at Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman as just one example. Professional and polished? Straight, smooth hair. Difficult woman? Curly hair. Sure, Sarah Jessica Parker revitalized the curly haired perception with Sex and the City, but it still wasn't enough for me. Now, I'm fully curly and have more compliments on my natural hair than I ever had when it was straight. I wish I hadn't waited this long!
I had straight hair and always wished it was curly. I spent a good part of the 90’s getting perms. In 2000, after I had my second child, my hair finally had curls to it. What did I do? I bought a flat iron and wore it straight for years. I’m finally done with all that too. I embrace my curls now.
I’m 10 years older than you are (you kiddo!)—and I hope we both live long enough to see America abandon its obsession with youth (a manifestation of its fear of death). And, btw, you look healthy, vital, and happy!
My husband was one of the ones that started balding early. He fought it for years, now he just accepts it. In the summer, he shaves it bald and insists I touch the smoothness. (I don't get it but whatever) In the winter, he let's what's left grow. He's a big skier so he claims it's great insulation.
The one thing he never understood was the hair dye thing.
He figures hair changes are just a part of aging, so let them be.
Fir the record, he also diesnt understand women who dye there hair.
I have no siblings, but 6 male cousins who all started to go bald in their 20's--but not me. We had the same grandfather, but different grandMOTHERS, and I had really good hair into my 50's. Over the years it thinned and I started cutting it shorter and shorter. It wasn't till 4 years ago that I got tired of hearing my wife say, "they didn't cut it short enough in the back!" so I started shaving it myself. I always thought my head was too "small" (it really is!) but shaving every 2 days is part of my routine.
I feel you! I started losing my hair when I was 25, and it was a drama even if I wasn't externalizing it much. My problem is that I liked to play with my hairstyle and colour and I realised that I had to give up it was bad news. What helped was: 1 like you actors like Patrick Stewart, 2 the fact that having a long beard became something cool.
Brent, I can relate! As a woman with alopecia, I am bald too. I wear wigs out in public. It's amazing how hair (or loss of) affects us emotionally. It appears you have come to terms with it. I aspire to embrace my reality but live with some self-consciousness. Sharing our stories with others is helpful. P.S. I remember that autumn-leaf colored hair!
E.M. needed your friendship. I do make it a point to see him as having just a fringe of hair, a little capuchin 'do, wherever his mug shows up. His implants, Trump's orangeness – what a pair.
hehehe
Wow, Brent, thanks for this honest piece. One of my best friend went bald around 24 and he was adamant about having a hair transplant. I never understood why, and told him, because the truth is he looked really good with very short hair! But he went ahead and got the transplant and thankfully it’s been a great job and he looks and feels great. But your essay helped me better understand some of his feelings on the subject. We never know what goes on in other people’s heads and hearts, do we?
It does feel good to share even embarrassing truths. It helps that this is long in the past now, I suppose.
Two words - Michael Jordan 👑
haha yes, the whole African American issue is something I didn't touch upon, but that community has been rocking a fantastic bald look forever!
I wholeheartedly agree with your female friend, while a bit disconcerting at first, I love being older and less visible. I am so much happier in my life and I’m no longer concerned with all the upkeep involved with being an attractive woman in our society - the type of angst & social pressure you experienced when first going bald.
I found that such an interesting perspective! There are certain beliefs that I just impossible to understand until you experience them yourself -- or someone very close to you does.
Yes! Patrick Stewart! What a great Roddenberry quote, I hadn't heard it before.
Also, a recent example, Matthew Maher in Our Flag Means Death ❤️
I love how fashionable it has become. In many ways, society really does advance!
I started losing my hair in my Twenties, but not quickly enough that I no longer need to go to the barber! About fifteen years ago I finally decided "The Hell with It" and started going having the barber shave my head completely, because by that point it was either that or the kind of singularly unconvincing combover my Dad had most of his life.
This is what I look like now—https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F37e81801-f35e-48b8-8f1d-c4cd531476d2_1928x2155.jpeg
Looks good! I think it's by far the obvious choice on most men.
My dad, who had thinning hair and started cutting it himself, always said, "I haven't gone to a barber since 1971. Think how much I've saved!"
The late Hunter S. Thompson talked about trying to cut his own hair while running for Sheriff of Woody Creek, CO—and how he ended up with a Travis Bickle trim!
I think I'd do an even worse job.....
Ever since Covid, I've cut Michael's hair. That's either confirmation or contradiction of your point, depending on what you think.
While not as stigmatized as balding, I had been fighting my naturally curly hair for my entire adult life (over 25 years) until this summer. I finally grew exhausted of the maintenance and products. Popular culture had always portrayed these transitions from unruly, unattractive curly haired women into sleek haired swans. Look at Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman as just one example. Professional and polished? Straight, smooth hair. Difficult woman? Curly hair. Sure, Sarah Jessica Parker revitalized the curly haired perception with Sex and the City, but it still wasn't enough for me. Now, I'm fully curly and have more compliments on my natural hair than I ever had when it was straight. I wish I hadn't waited this long!
Exactly! lovely story. And I love the Sarah Jessica Parker connection -- never made that connection before.
I love curly hair so much! The bigger the curly hair I see, the happier I am.
Agree!
I had straight hair and always wished it was curly. I spent a good part of the 90’s getting perms. In 2000, after I had my second child, my hair finally had curls to it. What did I do? I bought a flat iron and wore it straight for years. I’m finally done with all that too. I embrace my curls now.
Haha, the hair is always curlier on the other side of the fence?
Solidarity!
Hahaha.
True though. 👊✊
Sure saves a lot on hairstyling. Mm, but the 5 o'clock shadow. It's always somethin !
I can't BELIEVE how much money I've saved haha.
I’m 10 years older than you are (you kiddo!)—and I hope we both live long enough to see America abandon its obsession with youth (a manifestation of its fear of death). And, btw, you look healthy, vital, and happy!
thank you! and yes, very much agree with you, although I fear the opposite is happening, alas.
You look great! And so does my husband, who lost his hair early as well. Baldness and honesty are definitely both sexy. What an empowering post!
Thank you! Appreciate that.
Wow, another lovely personal piece.
My husband was one of the ones that started balding early. He fought it for years, now he just accepts it. In the summer, he shaves it bald and insists I touch the smoothness. (I don't get it but whatever) In the winter, he let's what's left grow. He's a big skier so he claims it's great insulation.
The one thing he never understood was the hair dye thing.
He figures hair changes are just a part of aging, so let them be.
Fir the record, he also diesnt understand women who dye there hair.
Anyway, great article.
Haha, thank you! Yeah, we all have our own takes, don't we? Love the touching the smoothness thing.
Occasionally kids want to touch my head, which I find very off-putting. Not crazy when parents don't say, "No, that's no appropriate."
I have no siblings, but 6 male cousins who all started to go bald in their 20's--but not me. We had the same grandfather, but different grandMOTHERS, and I had really good hair into my 50's. Over the years it thinned and I started cutting it shorter and shorter. It wasn't till 4 years ago that I got tired of hearing my wife say, "they didn't cut it short enough in the back!" so I started shaving it myself. I always thought my head was too "small" (it really is!) but shaving every 2 days is part of my routine.
My brother (four years older) started losing his hair first, and I stupidly teased him, which I think got Karma's attention.
Every two days, huh? I shame mine every four.
I feel you! I started losing my hair when I was 25, and it was a drama even if I wasn't externalizing it much. My problem is that I liked to play with my hairstyle and colour and I realised that I had to give up it was bad news. What helped was: 1 like you actors like Patrick Stewart, 2 the fact that having a long beard became something cool.
Yeah, I feel so lucky to have lived when I did. The changes we've seen! Then again, male vanity is bigger than ever, I suppose. hehe
Sweet. You look fabulous and I know that Ron (bald) agrees. I'll be there soon. 🤣🌈
haha thank you! you guys are an inspiration to us, seriously.
Brent, I can relate! As a woman with alopecia, I am bald too. I wear wigs out in public. It's amazing how hair (or loss of) affects us emotionally. It appears you have come to terms with it. I aspire to embrace my reality but live with some self-consciousness. Sharing our stories with others is helpful. P.S. I remember that autumn-leaf colored hair!
oh, I'm sorry, but I appreciate your sharing that! I do think there is power in sharing stories. I think there are gender differences too, obviously.
Haha, all things are transitory, aren't they? An early reminder. In some ways, that feels like centuries ago, and in some ways, just yesterday.