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Annette Laing's avatar

A thousand yeses to having a diverse group of friends, and valuing them as they are. And it's hard to get that perspective from living in a bubble, whether we're talking Lubbock or Brooklyn. Thanks for the insights you give that come from *your* way of living.

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

Very very much agree!

And thank you very much. Appreciate that.

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Alison Krupnick's avatar

I like the quiet wisdom of this piece. Thank you.

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

You're very welcome!

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Vanessa Thomas's avatar

A deep sensitive beautifully articulated piece I needed to read today

The tapestry of life how it unfolds how our lives play out

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

Thank you very much!

Yes, it's interesting to see it happen, isn't it?

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Antonia Malchik's avatar

I've often worried that my personal mantra of "human first, writer second" has held my own writing career back, but then realize that even thinking that isn't in line with my own values. It's great to have some space and distance to figure out what one's priorities actually are, isn't it?

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

Oh, interesting!

Yes, most things DO become clear in time, I think. I hope! LOL

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PHYLLIS MEYERS's avatar

It's heartwarming to hear from someone who has all different kinds of friends, not just ones who are reflections of their own selves. Everyone benefits by maintaining and valuing friendships that are diverse. Good for you!

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

Thank you! And yes, I very very much agree, friendwise.

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Sarah Styf's avatar

This is so beautifully stated. My life hasn't turned out the way I expected, but even the difficult turns have made me who I am today, and I really like who I am today.

Thank you for showing us that a good life is what we make it, not the result of following someone else's plan.

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

It is a complicated journey, isn't it? But it ain't over till it's over.

Thank you! Appreciate the kind words.

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Dakota Gale's avatar

Very nice!

I’ve been struck lately by how most of the people I know ended up with the lives they wanted or that fit their values/personality/ambitions, even if they might complain a bit or talk about other goals (that likely won’t happen bc they aren’t REALLY a priority). Good mirror for me to see myself and my “wish I coulds” as just “wellll maybe I don’t actually want (or deserve via hard work) to have that.”

Thanks for the thought-provoking piece. Here’s to having varied friends!

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

Yeah, I agree with this (even if I don't always say it out loud). What you *do* is your priority, not what you say you want.

Thank you!

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Blake Nelson's avatar

Great piece. I feel so calm and reflective after reading it.

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

Thank you very much! I'm glad.

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Steve Letro's avatar

Hi Brent, I enjoyed this story and the title. In August we attended my nephews wedding south of Buffalo NY. I looked at the crowd and thought "we are all different but the same thru time"

Keep Smiling Steve

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

Very true!

And thank you, Steve.

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Charlotte Rains Dixon, MFA's avatar

I love this thoughtful look at your two friends, so very different and yet similar in their decency. The way you described each of them I immediately "got" them. There's such peace in acceptance without judgment in who we and are friends are. I admit, I'm still working on that.

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

Thank you! They're both easy to like though.

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Jimychanga's avatar

Good stuff!

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

Thank you!

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Nancy Donnelly's avatar

very thoughtful essay, good to read.

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

Thank you very much

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Joaquin Roibal's avatar

I always love hearing about how our different childhoods can shape us in different ways. For Example, Scott didn't have financial security or stability growing up so he went into Law Enforcement. Arial had the "silver spoon" which gave her the freedom to "explore" in non-traditional ways.

My own childhood, being raised around wilderness and nature has given me a connection to the natural world that I love to explore in my writing, which even that part of my life (writing) is an expression of my childhood. You mentioned a bit about your happy marriage and successful group of friends, then going on to becoming a nomad (very cool), but I would have loved to hear how even more far back this idea of being a nomad went in your life.

I really enjoy your writing, it's simple, it's clear, it's straightforward and no hint of pretentiousness that I get from some writers. It's always interesting to me how when we release the grasp on being successful, or being witty, or being clever, how drastically our writing improves.

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

Yup, i think you are right. We are very much a product of our pasts, especially childhood.

You will definitely hear more about my past in future posts. Perhaps too much! lol

Really appreciate the nice words...

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Haliday's avatar

A lovely piece of writing. Scott and Arial are fortunate to have you as a friend.

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

Thank you! I feel lucky too.

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Melodie Durham's avatar

It's wonderful to have diversity among friends. It's how we learn and gain wisdom. Our life experiences have a role in defining us but we don't have to be stagnant. Most American's have so many options. We can take some crooked roads and still end up with a great outcome. I LOVE people who are interesting and deep and who are willing to share. Thank you for sharing, Brent and Michael.

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

Totally!

And you are very very welcome. Thanks for chiming in!

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Jack Polyethilene's avatar

So you have a good friendship with arial .

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

Both of them are two of my oldest, closest friends.

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R. S. Hampton's avatar

You have great friends. Did either express reservations about being a subject of your post? I'm overly concerned about discussing friends and family in my writing because of their extreme preferences for privacy. How do you handle this?

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Brent Hartinger's avatar

Oh, good question! I sent it to both of them beforehand, said they could be honest, and they were fine with it. I asked if Arial wanted a pseudonym, and she said yes.

I always try to be very courteous. I think that's important! Otherwise, no one would ever be friends with a writer. LOL

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R. S. Hampton's avatar

Very true! Thank you for your response. 😁

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