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Jenn H's avatar

I agree with this, and would add: Don't play games. Don't expect your partner to be a mindreader. None of this, "They should *know* what I'm upset about," or, "No, I'm not hurt/mad/whatever," expecting the other person to figure out otherwise. If you want/need something, just ask instead of turning it into a test.

Also, as you said, your partner is your friend and ally. Sometimes I see people online saying things like, "My partner did *this* that annoyed me so I'm doing *that* to get back at him," and I always want to say, "Wait, you're supposed to be on the same team!"

(I played some of those games in my 20s. By mid-30s I was able to forge the partnership I'm still in, and it's been wonderful to shed that baggage and just be real.)

Life throws enough challenges at us; why add unnecessary complications?

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Alicia Kenworthy's avatar

Love this! My grandmother always said: "marry later, marry wiser."

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